Something Old, Something New

by Lubrican

Chapters : 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Chapter Four

Uncle John did, in fact, knock on my door at one. By this time I had decided that being coy was probably a waste of time, so I was already naked. I also had an idea to break the ice, if just being naked wasn't enough.

I had taken a quick shower. While I liked the taste of sperm, I wasn't sure Uncle John would, and I wanted him to suck my pussy. That's because Uncle John could do the most impressive impersonation of Gene Simmons from KISS. He had the longest, fattest tongue of any real live person I'd ever met.

So when he knocked, I opened the door and pulled him in without a word. I already had the bowl of water and some shaving cream, I'd just put a new blade in the razor I had earlier shaved my legs with, and handed it to him.

"I need somebody to shave me," I said, acting harried. I sat down on the chair and spread my legs as wide as I could get them. "Will you do it for me?"

"Oh fuck," he groaned. Uncle John was one of the uncles who encouraged me to sit on his lap, even when I got big and heavy. Now I know why. He was a pervert. But what I needed right now was a pervert, so I took advantage of that.

He got right to work while I thought about ways to talk to a pervert. Not that I thought he was nasty or anything. He was my Uncle John, and he'd taught me to ride a bike. He was a sweety. But I did want to tease him. He was almost done when I started.

"Mmmm that feels so sexy," I purred. "I've never had a bare pussy before, Uncle John. Roger is going to go nuts over it."

"Damn!" he groaned. His thumb "slipped" and rubbed my clitty.

"You're making me horny, Uncle John," I moaned theatrically. "You're touching me so naughty!"

"Your mother said I could," he panted.

"You're naughty with my mother too," I sighed.

"She said you know, now. Do you hate me?"

"You've wanted to do this for a long time, haven't you?" I suggested.

"Ohhhh fuck," he groaned. "I shouldn't ... but I did."

"I don't care," I said lightly. "Are you almost done? I need my pussy licked bad, Uncle John."

"Oh-fuck-me-to-tears," he gasped.

I had forgotten a towel, so he just took off his shirt and used that. As soon as it was all clean, he dove in and that wonderful Gene Simmons tongue started fucking my pussy. How he did that and suck on my clitty at the same time I don't know, but he could do it. I had a string of three orgasms in a row, sliding lower and lower until my whole butt was hanging off the chair. He finally took his tongue out of me and looked up. He was out of breath.

"I have to have you Megan," he panted. "You're driving me crazy."

"You want to fuck my little pussy?" I asked in a high voice. "You want to put your big old prick in my pussy and squirt me full of Uncle John juice?"

He groaned. "You've done this before. I'm going to kill my sister for lying to me."

"She wasn't lying," I said. I got up and went to the bed. "Uncle Dan got my cherry this morning, and Uncle Tony was here a couple of hours ago. You're only my third, Uncle John."

"Then you're for sure the fastest learner I ever saw in my life," he said, grinning. "Can I?"

"You'd better," I said, lying down and spreading my legs. I reached to hold my now bare pussy lips open. This getting men to do what I wanted was fun!

He had other ideas, though.

He wanted to use another position, and he asked me if I'd put the garter belt and stockings on again. I did and he had me bend over with my legs spread, holding onto the back of the chair. It wasn't quite doggy style, because we were both standing, but it was very different. He felt different going in me from behind too. It rubbed the inside of my pussy in different places and even though he didn't get as deep inside me as the others had, I liked it a lot. Plus he could grab my hips and really slam in hard but he wasn't lying on me, so he wasn't heavy.

It was Uncle John who taught me that there's a third kind of orgasm that I never knew existed before. Or maybe a fourth. A different kind, anyway, whatever number it is.

It was also Uncle John who taught me what sperm feels like when it's spurted in the small of your back. I had felt it on my hands before, and in my mouth, of course, but never anywhere else. I don't know if it's all the nerve endings back there or what, but when he jerked out of me and spurted all his stuff right there in the small of my back, it was like the sun had come out from behind the clouds. I had to reach between my legs and rub to turn that feeling into an orgasm, but it wasn't hard at all.

He looked around and got a tissue and sopped up all his cum. I turned around and kissed him for the first time.

"Why didn't you just squirt in me?" I asked.

"Your mother said you're not on anything," he said. "It's complicated. Linda knows about your mother. Her only rule is that I don't get her pregnant. Since this is only supposed to be a one-time thing, just for your wedding day, we didn't exactly ask Linda if it was okay. I might be able to get away with doing this once, but if Linda found out I knocked you up she'd kill me."

"Oh," I said.

"Aren't you worried about getting pregnant?" he asked curiously.

"Not really," I said. "It's complicated for me too."

"Oh," he said.

"Thanks for the shave," I said. I pecked him on the cheek. "I'm really glad I got to borrow you."

"This was a dream come true," he said, and his eyes got all big and brown and watery.

"I teased you," I said, feeling bad that I had used this man who really loved me. "I won't do that again."

"It made it so much hotter," he sighed. "You have a talent for that. You've always had a talent for making me feel like I was all man."

"Well then maybe I'll tease you just a little."

"Not too much," he cautioned. "It will make me want to do this again."

"I already want to do it again," I said in a sultry voice.

He grinned. "You're doing it now ... aren't you. You're teasing me."

"You're the best pussy-licker in the whole world," I said.

"Oh fuck!" he gasped. "Okay, I'm leaving. That's it. You're too much for me. Damn!"

He was laughing as he opened the door and went out.

I didn't know who something Blue was going to be. I wanted it to be Uncle Bob, but I couldn't think of any way he was blue, unless he came dressed in his blue scrubs or something. I didn't think that would count. And anyway, he had been the something new for my mother. She had gotten his virginity, like I had gotten Uncle Tony's.

By two fifteen I was getting nervous. It was getting too late to do anything like I had done with something old, something new and something borrowed.

I was just pulling on my dress when the door opened and Uncle Bob walked in.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, as if nothing was odd at all.

"You're something blue?"

"I am," he said. "Stop, you're doing that wrong."

"Doing what wrong? I'm putting on my dress!"

"Yes, but you have on a bra and panties."

"Of course I do."

"Why?" He tilted his head. "Do you need them?"

"Well no, I suppose not, but they make me feel girly."

"Let me help you," he said.

He came over and undid my bra. I had to step back out of my dress so he could slide my panties down. That's when I found out the panties go on over the garter belt. Don't laugh. I'd never even held a garter belt before that day.

Anyway, he was all business as he undid my stockings and then pulled my panties down and off. He did up my stockings again and then took time to stare at my bald muff.

"Beautiful," he said. He leaned forward to give it one almost chaste kiss and then moved up to tweak my nipples.

"Uncle Bob!" I moaned. "We don't have time!"

"We have all the time we need," he said. "Now put the dress back on."

I did, pulling it up and onto my arms and shoulders. It had half sleeves that were made of lace.

"Zip me?" I asked.

"Not yet," he said.

He moved me so that I was facing the big mirror. I could see him behind me, a brick wall wearing a rented tux.

"You do look like a princess," he sighed into my neck. I shivered. He still hadn't zipped me up.

I felt his hands slide into the back of my dress and around my sides. I watched as the dress got all lumpy where his hands ruined the symmetry.

"I know about Roger," he whispered as his hands came up to cup my breasts. His fingers began twiddling my nipples. Even so I was on guard instantly.

"Know what?" I asked.

"What the deal is," he said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said breathlessly.

"Yes you do," he said. "We've never lied to each other, Princess. Let's not start now."

"I can't talk about it," I moaned. "I promised. It could ruin him."

"I don't want to talk about it," he said. "I just want you to know that I know what you're doing." His hands came back out and pushed the dress off my shoulders to the front. My hands caught it to keep it from falling to the floor, but my upper body was now bare. His hands went back to my breasts.

"Know what these little beauties are for?" he asked, looking at them in the mirror.

I was confused. It was getting late and he was bouncing all over the place. "What?" I asked, placating him.

"They're to feed babies," he said.

"Oh," I responded. He did know about Roger!

His hands dropped to rub all over my flat belly. "They're to feed babies that will grow in here, right under my hands."

"What do you want?" I groaned. He wanted something, because there was an implicit threat about Roger in his voice.

He turned me around and looked right in my eyes.

"I want to be the father of those babies," he said softly.

I felt my knees get weak. "You do?" I asked, my voice high.

He lifted me up by my waist like I was a feather, and set my butt on the top of the dressing table. His hands went to the front of his tux pants and I heard the zipper sing as he pulled it down. He wasn't wearing any underwear, and when he pulled out his cock I almost lost it.

It was tattooed ... just like the rest of him ... with swirls and circles and a pattern that looked familiar somehow, but which wasn't clear. But the thing was those patterns were all done in blue ink. His prick was blue.

"This is going to make you pregnant today," he said, breathing faster now. "And in two years, it's going to make you pregnant again."

I was in better control now, after seeing his Smurfy penis - not that it was tiny or anything. It was just blue, and I thought that was funny. I admit I got a little saucy with him.

"What if I want to be pregnant again before two years is up?"

With his face just as straight as could be he said, "Then you tell me and I'll knock you up whenever you want."

I called his bluff. I pulled my skirts up, and spread my legs so he could hopefully see my bare pussy. I couldn't see it, because my dress was in the way, but I hoped he could.

"We don't have much time, Uncle Bob."

It was like magic. His blue penis had been soft when he first pulled it out, but it got hard within a minute as he stared at my pussy and stroked it gently. I realized what the pattern was then. It was a diamondback rattlesnake, with the typical wedge shaped head and eyes and everything. It was incredible. The foreskin looked like its mouth was open and it was swallowing something round and shiny ... like maybe an egg. I shuddered at the thought of how much that must have hurt to have that delicate organ done up like that. Talk about a high tolerance for pain. I was still staring at it, fascinated, when he walked up to me and swabbed the tip between my pussy lips.

I thought about that snake sliding up in me, searching for a real egg, and shuddered again.

"Can I really?" he panted.

"Knock me up?" I asked.

He nodded.

"You can try," I said.

Uncle Bob was the one I wanted the most, out of all of them. And the sad thing was that I had to settle for less than we were capable of because of the time crunch. It wasn't all that comfortable, on the table like that, and we had to be careful of the dress, and he couldn't get to my nipples with his lips.

But he came in me with strong jets of sperm that I had visions of being blue, instead of white. It made me laugh with joy, and he smiled. He glanced at his watch as I felt the jerks of his cock slow down. He pulled out, while reaching with his fingers to squeeze my pussy lips together. His other hand went into his pocket and he pulled out a tampon, of all things.

"Unwrap that," he said.

I tore open the tube and handed it to him. I never had a man insert a tampon in me before, but let me tell you, he did it like he'd done it a hundred times.

"What's that for?" I asked as I wiggled my butt a little.

"It's to keep my baby-makers in you," he said calmly. "We need to get you dressed now."

Ten minutes later, at two-fifty exactly, I stood calmly outside the double doors of the room I was going to get married in. Bob and Mom were fiddling with my hair, getting the last strands in place. Nothing was said about what had just happened.

Bob smacked his bald head and reached in his pocket again, pulling out a large silver coin.

"The sixpence!" he said, and knelt down. I lifted my left foot for him and he took my shoe off and then put it back on. I could feel the coin under the arch of my foot. It was uncomfortable.

"Do I really have to have that?" I asked.

The music started inside.

"It's part of the tradition," said my mother.

"You said it doesn't work anyway," I reminded her.

"What didn't work was the fact that I had your brother exactly nine months after I walked down the aisle," said my mom.

"Lots of brides try to get pregnant on the honeymoon," I said. "That's not so odd."

"It is when your new husband is diagnosed with mononucleosis on the first day of the honeymoon, and put on strict bed rest for three months. Strict bed rest, by the way, means no sex."

"Oh!" My hand came up to cover the smile on my lips.

"So Daddy knew right away that you were a slut."

"That's how he found out about the tradition," she admitted.

"You two can catch up on family history later," said Uncle Bob. "It's almost time to go."

"So what do you think?" asked my mother, ignoring her brother, who might be the father of his own nephew. When I'd seen his rattlesnake, I hadn't been able to see what color his pubic hair was, assuming he had any. Maybe he was bald down there too. He'd been bald as long as I could remember and I'd never asked him why he never let his hair grow out. Maybe if he ever did it would be red curly hair like Tommy, my big brother. His Fu Manchu had some red in it.

My mother kept talking which prevented me from thinking about it any more. "Are you glad we did it?"

I took Uncle Bob's hand, but spoke to her. "You're supposed to be down there, so you can give me away." She hurried down the aisle. The wedding march started and Uncle Bob offered me his arm. Daddy was in Singapore and couldn't get back, but I didn't care. We waited for the right music to get there to step off on.

"I am glad she talked me into the tradition."

"When you get back from the honeymoon, let me know," he said, sotto voce.

"Why? Are you going to come do something naughty to me?"

"I can't leave it to the chance of just one time," he whispered.

"You wasted your time anyway," I said. "My period ended last Thursday."

"Oh." He sounded a little disappointed.

"Two days after I get back from Cancun I'll be ovulating," I whispered. I pulled his arm against my breast. It felt lovely all naked under the cloth of the dress. "But I want to be made pregnant in a bed, where it's comfortable," I added.

"Got it," he said. He looked a little wild-eyed.

"I'll tell the maid I'm expecting you," I said.

"Right," he said.

The grand march started and we stepped forward.

"I love you, Uncle Bob," I said.

"I love you too, Princess," he sighed.

We slowly walked toward the front of the hall, where Roger, soon to be my husband, waited for us nervously. He was probably wondering if it was all going to fall apart.

I never told you about Roger ... did I?

I met Roger in college when we were assigned as lab partners in a computer systems project class. We worked on software code together that semester for the class, and then two more semesters, taking it from an assignment to a full fledged master's project. His parents are from old money, and they were willing to bankroll a startup company with us as partners.

But there were things they wanted.

They wanted some commitment from me that involved more than partnership papers. They were willing to be very generous if I played ball.

One of the things they wanted most was a wife for their son, so that the world might be convinced for as long as possible that he wasn't gay.

He was a good guy, with a brilliant mind, and I didn't have any prospects anyway. It meant being an instant millionaire for me, along with access to the best equipment and funding for all the projects I had in mind. It was a little mercenary of me, I admit, but both of us got some of what we wanted. I'd had to give up the idea of having a family though, because my new husband wasn't interested in doing anything that might get me pregnant.

As I walked down the aisle on my Uncle Bob's arm, and felt the warm glow of his semen still inside me, I smiled brightly at Roger. A baby was going to go a long way towards making his parents very happy, and the part Roger was going to play much more believable.

From my perspective, the tradition looked like it might work very well. Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue had already started my marriage off a lot more happily than I had thought it would be.

And there was every indication that my marriage would benefit from those things in the future, as well.

The End

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