Fooling Around 101 - Version Alpha

by Lubrican

Chapters : 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Chapter Four

By now you may have tumbled to the concept that trying to teach a vibrant, young woman about sex ... sort of has to involve ... well ... sex.

But I was still delusional about that. I kept thinking I could mediate things ... slow things down ... control the situation.

And, since in the weeks after that, all she did was get me alone to give me those toe-curling kisses every once in a while, I thought I was in control.

True, those kisses now involved her rubbing her loins against mine while she kissed me, but that's just instinct, right? She knew that it felt good to have her pussy rubbed ... so she rubbed against me. That urge to masturbate when they're very little doesn't just go away, after all.

And yes, there was more than once when one of those kisses was a good night kiss, with her in her jammies, which meant no bra, and that almost always meant she moved my hands under her shirt so I could squeeze and roll her nipples while she tried to push her tongue down my throat.

But then she'd just breathe in my ear that she was going to go rub her pussy until she came, and would be thinking about what my cock might look like when it spurted.

Did I forget to tell you that part? She reminded me more than once that she hadn't actually gotten to see it spurt, and that I "owed her one."

But she didn't engineer it so we were alone for an extended period of time, or anything like that.

So I was sure all this eroticism was just teenaged hormones flowing through her veins, and that her curiosity was being slowly satisfied. And, after all, that was the whole point ... right?

Then Dennis got T-boned by some stupid woman texting while she was driving. Jill was in the front passenger seat. They were wearing their seat belts, so they lived, but both of them were hospitalized with broken bones. Their car was totaled, so I took Cindy and Mark to see them. Dennis was still sedated, but Jill was awake, though in considerable pain.

The two kids talked to their mother while I went to get us all something to drink from the cafeteria. I figured we would be there a while.

When I got back, they were arguing about what Mark and Cindy were going to do while their mother was laid up in the hospital. Mark was nineteen, and Cindy would be eighteen in six months, so they didn't really need anybody to take care of them. And Mark already had offers from three of his friends' parents to stay with them until Jill got home. I guess bad news travels fast. What they were arguing about was Cindy staying home alone, which Jill did not like one bit. Being a mom doesn't stop just because you're in the hospital.

So when I walked into the room, Jill looked at me and said, "I want Cindy to stay with you until we can come home."

I should have known something was up when Cindy complained loudly, and insisted she could stay home alone. All that did was make her mother's decision final. Cindy pouted until we got outside the room. Then she slid her arm through mine and pressed her breast to my upper arm.

She didn't say, "I can't wait!" but it was all over her face.


We had finished supper, which was grilled cheese sandwiches and a tossed salad. I sat, looking at her.

"You should feel awful, manipulating your poor, injured mother into sending you to stay with me," I accused.

"She and the doctor both said they'll be fine. They're banged up, but that's all." She looked at me with a level gaze.

"Well there's not going to be any hanky panky while they're laid up. Understand?"

"But it's the perfect opportunity for you to finish teaching me everything I need to know," she said.

"You probably already know everything you need to know," I said. "I keep getting the feeling that I'm a puppet, and you're holding the strings."

"Nonsense!" she snorted. "I'm just a normal, everyday girl, who happens to be lucky enough to have a dear, sweet uncle who loves her enough to teach her dangerous things in a safe way. Every girl should be as lucky as me."

"Well then you shouldn't have any trouble with taking a little break from sex school," I said.

"I've aready been taking a break from sex school," she said. "But don't get all worked up. I'll be good, if that's what you want."

"Good," I said. "That's what I want."

I shower at night, rather than in the morning, so an hour later I was doing that, when the door opened, and a naked teenager crowded into the stall with me.

"Save water! Shower with a friend!" she quipped.

"Cindy!" I groaned. "I thought you promised to be good!"

"I'm going to be good," she said, hugging me from behind, her hands slipping over my belly to my traitorous penis, which had already responded to the fact she was there. "Now turn around so I can practice being good."

I didn't know what she meant until, as I turned, she sank to her knees and captured my penis in her mouth. Then her hands went to my ass cheeks and I yelped as she chewed - albeit gently - on my cock, and then sucked and somehow, to my astonishment, went deep throat on me until her nose pressed into the brown pubes at the base of my prick.

She gagged and pulled off, coughing.

"Stupid!" I yelled, but she went right back on, and this time, when her nose bumped into me, she neither gagged nor coughed. Instead, her throat did something to the head of my penis that no woman had ever done. Of course that wasn't hard, seeing as how this was the first woman to take me that deep.

"Oh baby," groaned. "You're killing me."

Her hands kneaded my butt cheeks. Then one of them came around to lift and fondle my balls.

"Where did you learn this!" I gasped.

She just sucked and did that thing with her throat.

"I'm gonna cum!" I warned her.

Her head movements got a little frantic, and she turned her head, somehow, making her throat swirl on the shaft of my manhood.

"Oh fuck," I gasped, and put my hands on her wet head.

Now her hands came to my hips and she pushed herself off of me, until only the tip was in her sucking mouth. I came so hard that my knees wobbled and I had to lean against the faucets. One of them turned, and suddenly scalding water broke the mood. I got turned around and shut the water off completely.

"You're insane!" I panted.

"I knew I could do it!" she exulted, as she stood up. She was licking her lips and swallowing over and over. "But my throat hurts a little bit," she said.

"Of course it does, you idiot!" I gasped.

"It's really different than the banana I practiced on," she said, leaning up to kiss at my lips. I was still unhappy with her.

Sort of. At least I was trying to be unhappy with her.

"Crystal Woods taught me," she went on. "I've been trying to figure out a way to get you alone long enough to try it. This was my first chance, and with you being all grumbly and grown up about things, I couldn't wait. It's totally different, though. Not like the banana at all!"

She humped my thigh with her naked pussy. It squelched, so wet was it.

"Can I have one little orgasm now? Pleeeease?"

"Absolutely not!" I yelled. "And stop pulling my strings!"

"Poor Uncle Bob," she sighed, still rubbing her pussy on my wet thigh. "You know what your problem is?"

I didn't answer.

"You need to get laid." She grinned, kissed me on the chin, and then pushed out of the shower.


I should have remembered that she asked for an orgasm and didn't get one. Maybe my subconscious remembered all those times she told me she was going to go to bed and rub her pussy. And maybe my brain got weak, along with my knees as she sucked the spunk from my balls in the shower.

For whatever reason, I failed to lock my bedroom door.

Who am I kidding. I live in an eighty year old house, with skeleton locks on the doors. And I've never had a skeleton key.

But I didn't think there would be a problem. Sound familiar?

On the other hand, I'm fairly quick on my feet when I'm motivated, and when a naked body slipped into bed with me in the middle of the night, and I woke up enough to understand what was going on, I got my feet sideways and shoved her out onto the hardwood floor.

It was April, and it was still cold. And while her house was nice and insulated, mine wasn't. That floor was cold, let me tell you.

She squealed and called me names, and tried to get back into bed with me, while I defended my turf. Finally it degenerated into a wrestling match, which wasn't fair at all, because she was naked, and she kept pressing parts of her naked body against my face, and grabbing for my dick, which was inside the sports shorts I usually wear to bed.

Do you know why the old alpha male eventually gets beaten by some young buck who takes over his harem? Because he gets old and tired, that's why. And I don't know if elk years are like dog years or not, but in dog years I was something like 245 years old, so I had relatively little chance against her. And yes, I know I was talking about beta males, but it doesn't really matter, now does it? She outlasted me, and the next thing I knew I had a naked niece plastered to me, kissing me like she meant it, and putting her naked knee between mine, so that when she bent her leg her knee came up to touch my balls. And her hand was in my shorts, and I was too tired to resist any more.

She finally let me breathe, and sighed, "I love this so much. I've always wondered what it would be like to be in bed with you naked."

"In bed with a boy naked," I corrected her.

"Of course," she said. "Can I please have my orgasm now?"

"I should throw you outside in the snow and lock the doors," I muttered.

"But you won't, because I suck Mr. John Thomas better than any of your stupid former girlfriends ever did. Am I right, or am I right?"

"Okay, I admit that," I admitted. "But being in bed with me like this is a very bad idea, honey."

"You're so cute when you get all grumbly like that. As if you might actually try to force me to do something. You're a big teddy bear, that's what you are."

The cutesie talk was a bit marred by the fact that she was slowly jacking on my very erect, very un-teddy-bear-like penis.

"Are you on birth control pills?" I asked.

"Of course not, silly," she said. "I don't have sex."

"You're about to," I warned.

She giggled.

So I rolled over on top of her, and gave her that orgasm by rubbing my hard cock against her naked pussy.

She actually resisted for about fifteen seconds, until she figured out I wasn't actually trying to get inside her.

Then she put her arms around me and held on while I dryfucked her.

Right when she got her cookies, she whined "I love you, Uncle Bob," and then started crying.

Like I didn't have enough to worry about.


She finally calmed down. She kept saying, "Nothing!" every time I asked her what was wrong. I got off of her, of course, but she clung to me with her hands, and kept crying.

"Something has to be wrong," I said. "You're crying, for Pete's sake!"

"Nothing is wrong," she said. "Just hold me."

So I held her, and somehow we drifted off to sleep together.


When I woke up, she wasn't in bed with me any more. That worried me, because the last thing I remembered was her crying. So I got up, kind of nervous like, and went looking for her. She was in the kitchen, dressed for school, and looked completely normal. She was eating cereal ... dry.

"Hi, sleepyhead," she said. "You have nothing in your refrigerator. We will both starve to death if you don't go buy some food."

"I eat a lot of meals at your house," I said.

"Then go get some of our food and bring it here," she said. "I have to go to school."

"You want me to drive you?" I asked.

"No, I called Crystal and she's going to pick me up."

I remembered Crystal's name as the one associated with teaching my niece how to deep throat me.

"Please tell me Crystal doesn't know who you were practicing with the banana for," I said.

"Of course not, silly," she said. "I told her I saw it in a porn flick and didn't believe it was real. She swore it is, and taught me with the banana."

"You have a reputation as not being willing to fool around, if I've heard correctly," I said.

She stopped and looked at me. "Who told you that?" She looked very alert.

"I have my sources," I said, trying to sound smug.

"This is important, Uncle Bob," she said, her voice very serious. "I need to know who you talked to, and who told you that. This could ruin everything."

She looked so upset that I just told her. "Dennis told me about it one night," I said.

She relaxed. "Ohhhh, okay. That's okay, then. Jeez, if anybody found out I have a thing for my ..." She stopped and looked startled. "Gotta go. Get something to eat, okay?"

Then she was out like a gazelle.

The first thing I did was masturbate, trying to get every drop of semen out of my balls. I was working off the theory that if I kept my balls empty and my prick soft, she couldn't misuse it.

That theory bit the dust as I drove to an appointment, remembering the feel of her body in my arms. By the time I got there, I had a hardon again and had to wait for it to go down before I could meet the client's attorney.

My job is one I made up. I'm a mechanical engineer, and one day while I was trying to assemble something I thought of a much better way to design some of the parts. So I drew the designs, made prototypes, and applied for patents on them. Then I went to the company and presented my new and improved parts. They sent me to their engineering department. I demonstrated that what I had designed was far superior to the originals, and would cut down on warranty claims. The engineer (who had designed the original part) told me to eat shit and bark at the moon, but the company lawyer had showed up to watch, and overruled him. He basically asked them why the company paid him if he couldn't recognize a better design when he saw one.

I sold that patent for enough to quit my job and look for other things to improve on. Since 50% of all engineers graduate in the bottom half of their class, I didn't have that much trouble. I didn't always sell the idea. But even that was to my advantage once. The company got sued, and the lawyer suing them found out about my improved part that they hadn't bought. He called me to testify that they could have avoided injuring his client if they'd have bought my patent. I had asked a thousand dollars for that patent, and when the case was over, the client gave me ten thousand.

The point is that I come and go whenever I want. So I had all the time in the world, while Cindy was in school, to stop in at a Walgreens and go to the consultation window at the pharmacy. I couldn't very well ask them if they had something that would kill an erection for a few hours, so a teenager couldn't make a terrible mistake with it, but I did have a plan. The guy came to the window.

"Do you sell saltpeter here?" I asked.

"Potassium Nitrate? I stock a little, in small quantities."

"How much is it?" I asked.

He consulted the computer. "Looks like it's about twelve dollars a pound. That's the largest size I have."

"Okay, I guess I'll take a pound then."

"No problem." He reached under the counter and brought out a pad of forms. "Just fill this out and I'll call it in and see if they approve you."

"Approve me?"

"Yeah, Potassium Nitrate is used in making gunpowder and some explosives. Our company requires a background check before we can sell it to somebody. It doesn't take but a minute, once the form is filled out."

I looked at the form. They wanted to know an awful lot of personal information. But if it helped me, what the heck. I filled out the form. He made a call and told them my social security number and date of birth and some other things. Then he hung up and did things in the computer. Pretty soon he told me to slide my card, and after I signed the screen, he printed me out a receipt, which he kept.

"Be right back," he said.

He disappeared into the back of the pharmacy and came back with a plastic bottle that was black and had a label on it. He handed me that and the credit card slip.

"Here you go," he said. "Just make sure you wash your hands after touching this, and before eating, and make sure it doesn't contaminate any food items. Okay?"

That seemed like an odd thing to say. "Beg your pardon?" I said.

"It's just something I have to tell people. There was this one guy who thought his wife was fooling around with his best friend. So he got some to put in the guy's food, because he'd heard all those stories about the Army putting saltpeter in the eggs at breakfast, and almost poisoned the guy. Ever since then, I have to give that warning whenever I sell it."

"So how did the Army keep from poisoning their recruits?" I asked. "With the eggs, I mean?"

"That was all bullshit. That stuff makes great gunpowder, but it doesn't do anything at all to keep a pecker down." He grinned at me, sure he had imparted useful information.

I just wish he'd imparted it before I went through a government background check and paid him.


I dropped by the hospital on the way home. Jill was more comfortable, and Dennis was awake. She asked for books, and he asked for me to bring his whole Xbox system to the hospital, including the 27" TV he played it on. I said I'd see what I could do, but didn't tell him I wasn't lugging a hundred pound television set to the hospital, broken leg or not. I'd bring him some books too.

Then it was home. Cindy was already there. I was mildly surprised to find her fully dressed. Nor did she jump my bones as soon as I walked in. So I told her we were going to her house, so she could mine their pantry, while I gathered up some things for Jill and Dennis. I figured I might be able to drag that out into an hour. Then, if I took her out to eat, that could kill another two hours. If all I had to do was let her give me a blow job and rub her to get her off, maybe she'd sleep in her own bed tonight.

Well, my guest bed ... but you get my drift.

Of course it didn't go that way at all.

"I can't go with you," she said. "I have a study session with some kids in my Calculus class."

"Oh," I said. "You need me to drop you somewhere?"

"Larry Richards is going to take me there and bring me back."

"Larry, huh? Have I heard of Larry before?"

"Nope. He's just in the study group."

"So this isn't a date, per se," I said.

She beamed at me. "Are you jealous Uncle Bob? Are you worried I'm going to play stinky finger with Larry Richards tonight?"

"Of course not," I said. "I mean that's your business, not mine. Just remember that it can be less than satisfying if you are with someone you don't have a close emotional bond with."

"Oh, I'm fully aware of that," she said, her eyes twinkling. "Be sure to get milk."

"Milk," I repeated. "Right."

There was a honk and she put on her coat and flew out the door.

I went to their house and then to the bookstore. I needed something special for Dennis, and I chose David Eddings. I got him the whole Belgariad series. If he read the first one, he'd be hooked. And if he wasn't ... well I hadn't read them in a while, and when I did, they were from the library. I'd always wanted the set myself, not to mention the two series that came afterwards.

I took the stuff to the hospital. I told Dennis unapproved electronics were banned in the hospital, because of the oxygen. A nurse who happened to be there changing his bandage swore to it, with a wink, and he took the books. I sat with Jill for a while. Mark had been by with the friend he was staying with, and I told her Cindy was fine, and where she was, and that I'd bring her by the next day.

"You're so good to us," she said, holding my hand.

I don't think I've ever felt more guilty than I did at that second.

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