Visiting the Psychiatrist
The psychiatrist looked up as his newest patient entered his office. His
examination began with an evaluation of her physical appearance.
The face she showed the world looked entirely normal for a young woman of
twenty-three. Her attire was business casual, consisting of a maroon colored
silk blouse, tucked into a gray wool skirt that fell to perhaps an inch below
her knees. She had good legs to go along with a body that appeared to be in
excellent condition. She was slim in a willowy way, but not so thin as to
suggest an eating disorder. Her hair was shiny and clean and fell to her
shoulders. Whatever issues she had in life hadn't caused her to let herself
go. She looked nervous, but only in the sense that most patients who choose to
enter into a dialogue with a member of his profession might be.
"Good morning, Miss Chambers," he said, his voice mellow. He glanced at a folder
lying open on his desk, which was otherwise clear of any object. "How may
I help you this morning?"
"I think I have a problem," she said, tentatively.
"We all have problems," he said, smoothly. "Please, make yourself
comfortable. Would you like coffee? Tea?"
"Do you have any black chai?" she asked, still standing.
"I believe we do," he said.
He punched a button and asked someone named Helen to bring the tea while the patient
surveyed the options in the office for "relaxing" in. There were two
straight-backed, upholstered chairs that faced his desk. The couch she had
expected to be there was along an inside wall to his right. Two overstuffed arm
chairs formed an "L" with the couch, with an end table between them. Wall sconces
provided a low level of lighting that somehow made the room feel warm, though
not oppressively so.
"Should I lie on the couch?" she asked. Her cheeks blossomed pink. "I've
never done this before."
later," said the doctor. "You don't even have to sit. The agenda for
right now is simply for you to feel comfortable as possible.”
nervous," she admitted.
have nothing to fear in this room," he said, softly.
I know that," she said, sounding impatient. Her appearance gave no hint of
don't you tell me why you think you have a problem," he said, making her
decide on her own whether to remain standing, or choose a place to sit.
easy," she said, standing stock still and looking at him with an
unflinching gaze. "I'm twenty-three and still a virgin."
eyes widened but he concealed his surprise, otherwise. She was a beautiful
young woman, clearly attractive to men. The forms she'd filled out prior to
being shown to his office indicated she was an interior decorator, so she
obviously had the opportunity to meet men.
is not a disease," he offered.
you believe that a twenty-three-year-old woman in America who has still never
had sex is completely normal?"
a little early in the process to proclaim you either normal or otherwise,"
he said, calmly. "Please. Sit down. Or lie down if you wish. I will admit
I am intrigued. It isn't unprofessional of me to note that you are a beautiful woman, a woman who has no doubt had many opportunities to award her virginity to any number of men. Your concern is valid,
if only because it causes you to worry. I hope I can help you remove that worry
from your life."
too kind," she said, her tone acerbic. "Are you going to stretch this
out as long as possible? Eighty dollars an hour is a pretty good reason to do
is rarely productive," said the doctor. "I can promise you I won't
make you spend any more time in this office than is required to resolve your
concerns." He glanced at her folder again. "Believe it or not, I'm
not in this for the money. If your financial situation requires it, we can come
to an agreement to reduce your fees, but please, let's not worry about that right
now. Instead, let's proceed with this initial visit so I can determine how
best to help you."
patient folded her arms across the maroon silk of her blouse, under breasts
that seemed to thrust almost insolently from her chest. The doctor amended that
thought, understanding that it was the insolence in her facial expression that
he had applied to those delightfully full breasts.
she dropped her arms and sat in one of the chairs facing his desk.
think I know why I have this problem," she said. "At least I know who
I blame for it."
waited, just looking at her. He did have questions but, initially, he wanted
her to reveal whatever she was thinking at the moment. He didn't need to ask
her who she blamed. She wanted to talk about that. She wouldn't have brought it
blame my uncle," she said, her voice tight.
uncle," said the doctor. Simply repeating what a patient said often
caused more information to flow forth, concerning the comment. It was an odd
facet of human interaction. By repeating the comment, you verified that you'd
heard and understood it. For reasons still not understood by science, however,
such repetition seemed to demand further explanation.
mother's brother, my Uncle Bob," said Miss Chambers.
blame your Uncle Bob for the fact that, at twenty-three, you haven't had sexual
congress with a man," said the doctor.
woman," she added, her voice whisper soft.
have interests in that direction?" asked the doctor.
have interests in every direction," she snorted. "I blame him
for that, too."
me tell you what I heard you say," he said. "If I'm wrong, please
feel free to correct me. I heard you say that you're still a virgin because of
your relationship with your Uncle, and yet that same relationship caused you to
have sexual interest in relationships with both genders?"
admit, I am intrigued," he said. "Would you feel comfortable talking
about that some more?"
why I'm here," she said, her gaze level with his.
closed her folder.
"Then let's begin," he said, softly.
She was lying on the couch. Her shoes were off and her ankles were crossed. The
skirt had ridden up a few inches, exposing her knees, and perhaps two inches of
skin above them. She wasn't wearing hosiery and had the legs to pull that off beautifully.
The fingers of both hands were interlaced and lying on her abdomen. She seemed
to have no concern about her head crushing her hairdo. She stared at the ceiling instead
of the doctor, who sat beside her in his desk chair, which he had rolled away
from his desk. That chair was probably the most comfortable one in the room.
"Let's go back to the beginning," he said. "Tell me about your relationship
with your uncle. What is your oldest memory of him?"
"Oh my," she sighed. "I can't remember a time when he wasn't there. Even
before my father left, Uncle Bob was there a lot. He and my mother were very
"Tell me what you remember about your father leaving."
"I thought we were talking about my uncle," she said, rolling her head to
look at him.
uncle wasn't the only influence in your life," he said.
head rolled back and she stared at the ceiling again.
left when I was eight. Mom would never tell me exactly why, but when I grew
older I figured it out."
subsided and he waited, letting the silence make her uncomfortable. As
expected, she spoke to fill it.
left for another woman."
do you think that?"
I remember them fighting. He used to come home late sometimes and they yelled
at each other. I remember Mom asking him why he smelled like perfume. One time
she asked what was wrong with her and then cried when he left the house. I
didn't understand at the time, but when I was in my teens that all began to
make sense. Except it didn't make sense. My mother was beautiful, the nicest
woman in the world. She was a good cook and a good mother. As far as I was
concerned, he had to be an idiot to leave her for some other woman. I still
feel that way."
can cause erratic, incomprehensible behavior," suggested the doctor.
knows that," she snorted.
sounds like you have some unresolved feelings about your father," he said,
ignoring her barb.
at all," she said. "I hope he suffers from boils that cover his
entire body. I hope his hair falls out and women find him repulsive. I hope he
catches a sexually transmitted disease that causes him to waste away in
see," said the doctor. "Just for the sake of argument, let's talk
about how you hope your father has no options for romantic or sexual
involvement with a woman. Is it possible that has caused you to feel that way
about all men?"
at all," she said, immediately. "I don't hate all men. I don't hate
sex, either. I'd love to find a man to have that kind of relationship with.
I've tried. You were right. I've had many opportunities to lose my virginity. I've dated tons of guys. And I've felt passion plenty of times.
But none of them were the right man."
you know this because ...?"
you married, Doctor?"
not here to talk about me," he chided, gently.
"I don't think it's unprofessional for me to state you're handsome," she said, ignoring him and using his earlier phrase. "You have a nice
office, and at the rates you charge you're not hurting for money. I assume
you're not gay and I doubt that your profession requires you to work late night
after night, or be gone for extended or frequent trips away from home. So why
hasn't some woman snatched you up? Are you opposed to marriage or long term
right. I concede your point. You want me to say I haven't met the right woman.”
you," she said. "It's not that easy to find the perfect mate."
course perfection is elusive, and I understand that relationships are
complicated. But discussing your feelings about those relationships is
important if we're going to resolve your conflict."
suppose so," she sighed.
get back to your uncle," he suggested. "Did he become the father
figure in your life, once your biological father left?"
wouldn't have called it that," she said. "Though I did always feel
safe and protected in his presence. I thought of him more as a special friend
... a very special friend."
made him special?"
used the right word for it, earlier," she said. "Our relationship was
complicated. I've thought a lot about this, and I think it was because he was
responsible for ushering me into puberty."
say that with conviction."
because I'm sure about it."
is amorphous, in terms of how it plays out and how each person responds to
it," said the doctor. "Most people have difficulty remembering what
it was like to go through that period in their development. It's a tumultuous
time in a person's life, and is often the root of many problems that surface
later in one's adult years."
remember it very clearly," said the patient.
do you feel your uncle ushered you into puberty?"
he taught me about my body ... about the feelings I was having ... about
sex," she said, softly.
uncle molested you?" The doctor's voice was tight.
people would have called it that," she said, sounding unconcerned.
"But I didn't feel abused. Nor did my mother act like he did anything
wrong. She knew about all of it, and never ... corrected ... his
want to hear more," said the doctor, "but I have another appointment.
Would you be willing to come back for more sessions?"
course," she said, sitting up. "I want to resolve the issue."
wish I didn't have to put you off now. I think it would be productive if you
could tell your story without interruption. I don't usually work on Saturdays,
but if we met then I'd have more time with you."
are no problem," she said. "I usually go to the gym on Saturday, but
I can do that in the morning and then come see you afterwards. Would that
would be fine. Let's make it this coming Saturday. Is that all right with
stood and smoothed her skirt with delicate hands.
looking forward to it," she said. "I'll see you around ten."
chose to dress down, both because it was Saturday and because he wanted the
atmosphere to be as casual and comfortable for the patient as possible. He was
mildly surprised when she arrived still wearing what she'd worked out in. That
consisted of a one-piece spandex upper that hugged her body like a second
skin. He imagined the gusset was narrow, because she'd covered her loins with
a pair of running shorts, loose and made of cotton, the complete opposite of
what covered her upper body. Her blond hair was done up in a ponytail. The
overall effect was one of blatant, healthy sexuality, and he felt a tightening
in his groin. His eyes went naturally to her breasts, looking for her nipples,
and he was mildly disappointed when all he saw were smoothly rounded tips of
breasts that were tightly confined by the stretchy fabric.
he said, choosing to use her first name to establish a less formal atmosphere.
"Please come in. You didn't have to rush right here."
she replied, formally, apparently not wanting things to be as casual as he did.
"I usually prefer to shower at home. I hoped you wouldn't mind if I came
straight here from the gym. I was on the climbing wall and didn't want to stop
until I reached my goal."
explained the traces of white chalk still on her hands.
you're a climber," he said, just making conversation.
a kick boxer, and a runner, and a swimmer," she said, easily. "I play
racquetball, too. I have a lot of stress in my life, and I'll do pretty much
anything to work it off."
wouldn't have thought an interior designer would be subject to an overabundance
of stress," he said, smiling.
stress," she specified, looking directly at him without embarrassment.
he said. "Which brings us to the issue. You have chosen other than the ...
shall we say conventional ... methods of reducing your sexual stress. I
understand the issues surrounding finding that 'right' person we talked about
before, but in this day and age young people often engage in sex with no ties,
simply to deal with those feelings."
not interested in casual sex," she said, choosing the couch again. Again
she crossed her ankles and lay her hands on the tightly stretched spandex
covering her flat abdomen. "I want something with more substance.
Something that will last. I think I have a lot to offer the right man, and I
don't want to waste my time doing what amounts to complicated masturbation with
the wrong one."
don't mean to compromise any moral stance that may support your position on
this, but sometimes building a good, long-term relationship involves a certain
amount of preliminary sexual intimacy. I think of it as a pathway to
happiness. One must walk the entire path. You can't just jump to the end."
don't think my moral stance has much to do with things," she said. "I
think my uncle ruined me for other men."
might be a little extreme, considering the fact that you are, as you said,
still a virgin. Perhaps we should talk about a definition of that word. What
does 'virgin' mean to you?"
means I've never let a man have sexual intercourse with me," she said.
specified 'let' in that sentence," he said. "What I would have
expected a woman to say is that she'd never had intercourse."
plenty of men have tried to have intercourse with me. I just wouldn't
you blame your uncle for this."
we should get to the root of why you feel this way about him. Let's get back
to how that started. Do you remember anything about that?"
remember it all," she said.
listening," he encouraged.
was no longer staring at the ceiling. Now her eyes were closed.
it started, there wasn't anything sexual about it. All he did was hold me when
I got hurt, and kiss my owies. I sat on his lap and he hugged me, and talked to
me. He was there almost all the time after my father left, at least at first.
Later he'd come over two or three nights a week, and most Saturdays. We played
catch in the yard, and worked picture puzzles, and read stories to each other.
I know this sounds like the kind of thing a father usually does, but I never
looked at him like that. My biological father never did those things with me.
I never thought of Uncle Bob as filling the role of my father. He was just ...
Uncle Bob. He was the only adult male who showed any genuine interest in me as a person. Does that make sense?"
"Children often feel like adults don't realize their potential as full human beings," said the doctor. "Generally speaking, that's the result of what the adult perceives as a vast difference in life experience. They don't think they have anything in common with the child, and so don't think there's anything to talk about. That's a sad consequence of getting older. It often makes one a little arrogant."
"Well, he wasn't that way. He was my friend, and I loved him for that," said Jennifer. "Then
I had my first period, and it was awful. I had cramps and even the pill my
mother gave me didn't reduce the pain. I was miserable. I remember I was
crying, lying on the couch, using him as my pillow and he started rubbing my
hands came apart and her right one made a circular pattern across the smooth
spandex over her abdomen.
felt good, and I asked him to keep doing that. He massaged me there for a long
time and slowly I relaxed and the pain went away. After that, whenever I had
cramps, either my mother or he would rub my belly. It always helped. But Mom
was usually too busy to do it for long, so Uncle Bob was the one who would
spend hours smoothing his hands over the hurt and making me feel better. It
seemed like his hands were pain magnets or something. Of course he talked to me the whole time, so maybe he just distracted me.
my breasts started to develop. They seemed to grow overnight. One day I was
flat, like all the other girls, and the next I had these mounds that were
awful. They hurt. So I asked Uncle Bob to rub them too. My mom was right
there. I remember her saying, 'Why not?' so I lay down on the couch with him
again, using him as my pillow, like always, and he rubbed my breasts. He was
so tender and caring. And he made them feel better."
you have sexual feelings while he did this?" asked the doctor.
It just felt good. And we talked about things while he did it. What I mean is
we carried on normal conversations while he did that. We didn't talk about my
breasts. Not then. He just rubbed them while we talked about normal
said 'Not then'. I assume that changed. When was that?"
breasts only hurt for a month or two," she said. "But I really liked
lying on the couch with him like that. And I always needed to have my belly
rubbed when I had my period. So when he was doing that, I pulled his hand up
to my breasts and had him rub them too. It just felt good. I didn't feel
anything sexual until I was thirteen."
you remember how that happened?"
It was one night in the dead of winter. It was so cold outside and it was
almost bedtime. I was already in my pajamas and I was having cramps so he was
rubbing my belly. Mom had put a quilt over us because it was so cold. His
hand was under my pajama top, rubbing my belly, and I pulled at his wrist. He
knew what that meant by then, so he just slid his hand up to rub my breasts.
But this was the first time he'd ever done it inside my clothing, and his hand
felt different, somehow. His fingers paused to tease my nipple and then he
squeezed it. I thought I might pee my pants right then and there. I'd never felt
anything like that. I must have made a noise, because my mom came running into
the room and asked what happened. He told her my nipples were developing and
then pulled my top up to show her. My nipples had never gotten hard before.
It was amazing."
your mother didn't seem to mind that he was exploring your nipples?"
have to say no. I didn't know what was happening to me then, but I remember
her telling him not to be too hard on me, and that I was at a vulnerable stage
in my life. I didn't even know what 'vulnerable' meant. I even said that, and
he said he'd explain it all to me."
don't know how long it actually was, but it seemed like he spent hours and
hours during the next couple of years teaching me all about my body, and what
was going on inside it. I learned about my menstrual cycle from him, and why
my breasts reacted the way they did to the various things he did to them. It
was amazing how he could rub them one way and it just felt good, and then he'd
rub them a different way and I'd get all antsy and worked up. It wasn't until
I was fifteen that he taught me what to do when I got worked up like
showed me. I didn't say this earlier, but after he started rubbing my breasts,
whenever I had cramps, and he was rubbing my belly, sometimes his hand would
slide down between my legs. Not far between them, but more like his fingertips
would barely reach my clitoris. Of course I didn't know what a clitoris even
was, then. It's hard to describe. He didn't fondle me. Not really. It's more
like he included my pubic mound in the massage he was giving my belly. I liked
when I was fifteen, and we had discussed all the things that were happening in
me, the only thing we'd talked about that I didn't really understand was the
orgasm. He told me I needed to ask my mother what an orgasm was like and when
I did that, she got all flustered and said I should talk to Uncle Bob. So I
went back to him and he said he'd help me have one, so I'd know what it
this was all right with your mother?"
stood there and watched it!"
wasn't then. Everything seemed completely normal then. I didn't realize how
strange all that was until I was a senior in high school."
when you realized how strange that was for him to do those things to you, how
did that make you feel about him?"
the first and second semesters of my senior year, during the holidays, I
confronted him about it," she said.
what did he say?"
said he loved me."
are many kinds of love, and even at that young age you must have known that.
Did that confuse you?"
really. I knew he didn't mean he was in love with me. Not romantic love.
But I also knew that his love was ... special. It wasn't like the way anybody
else loved me."
you describe that?"
is hard. There's so much to think about. I'm having trouble putting it into
don't you just ramble, then, and I'll simply listen."
she didn't continue speaking. He remained silent, assuming she was thinking.
first time I learned that uncles don't normally do the things he'd done to me,
that uncles aren't supposed to do them, was at a slumber party. The
word 'pervert' was bandied about in discussions about men who touch young girls
like that. What complicated that was that my mother, who I knew loved me more
than anything else in her life, hadn't been concerned about it at all. She
even approved! So part of that conversation ... argument ... there isn't
really a good term for it ... part of that marathon discussion we had when I
confronted the two of them about it, was about why my mother allowed him to
touch me like that."
psychiatrist stayed quiet.
told me that sooner or later every girl discovers her body, and how it can be
touched to create pleasure. She said that usually happens on dates with boys
who are just as confused and inexperienced as the girl is, and that things can
go terribly wrong in those situations. I understood what she meant, because of
the stories I'd heard from other girls. She said she preferred that my initial
education about my body be supervised by Uncle Bob, who she knew we could both
subsided for so long that the doctor eventually had to speak.
from what you've said, all he ever did was touch your breasts and give you one
orgasm. Is that correct? Was it only one orgasm?"
Up to the point where I confronted them, that was all that had happened."
said, 'Up to that point.' Does that mean your ... education ... proceeded
after this conversation?"
yeah," she sighed. "I think maybe that's when Uncle Bob actually
ruined me for other men."
did he do?"
... only everything. Well, everything except fuck me." Her head rolled
and her green eyes stared at him unflinchingly. "Am I allowed to use
vulgar words in these sessions?"
whatever words best express what you're feeling," he said, gently.
then. He did everything except fuck me."
comfortable would you feel being more specific than using the word
'everything'?" asked the doctor.
I said, it was a long conversation. It lasted all night. It's hard to
remember in terms of being able to relate it in the order everything was said.
And I found out things that turned my world upside down. Such as the fact that
Uncle Bob had been sleeping with my mother ever since my father took off."
can see how that might be rough," said the doctor, softly.
made it rough was that I felt stupid. I got straight A's in school, but hadn't
figured out what it really meant that Uncle Bob was there for breakfast
so often. We had a guest bedroom, and he had some clothes and stuff in there.
I always just assumed that's where he slept. A lot of things became clear
quite suddenly, and I felt stupid because I thought I should have figured it
out much sooner."
you angry? They were engaged in incest. Did you feel betrayed?"
I wouldn't say that. I think I got it. I mean he helped her feel better at a
time when she was as low as you can get. And he'd helped me feel better
all those times. He was sort of in the business of helping us both feel
better. He didn't live with us. He had a job that he went to every day
and all that. But if we needed him, he was there. I knew he loved both of us
and since I couldn't imagine how his love for me could be bad, I couldn't
imagine his love for my mother was bad either. I think part of it was that I had heard my girlfriends say so many things that sounded either stupid or just flat wrong, that it was easy to believe they were wrong about how wrong it was for an uncle to do things with his niece."
said it was during that conversation that he ruined you for other men,"
prompted the doctor.
be precise, I should probably say it was afterwards, though that all-nighter
did get things started."
thought things were already started."
to that point, as I said before, all he ever did was tease me a little and
give me one orgasm. He did that with his fingers. He had never kissed me, or
used his mouth on me."
your implication is that, after this long confrontation, he did both of
those," prompted the doctor.
that all you feel comfortable saying?"
Doctor, am I to understand you wish to hear all the sordid little
said he ruined you. It might help to understand exactly what he did to make
you feel the way you do."
it could be that hearing stuff like this has turned you into a bit of a
If you feel my interest in you is perverted, then I can only suggest you seek
another therapist to assist you."
didn't say that. I was only suggesting it must be difficult for a man to hear
lurid details about that sort of thing. As I recall you did say I was
beautiful. And you're a man, underneath that cool exterior and all those
framed degrees on the walls. I may be relatively inexperienced when it comes to
men, but I know what men want."
I want is for you to resolve your feelings about this uncle," said the
her head turned, and bright green eyes pinned to his.
"Well, that would be easy. All he'd have to do is fuck my socks off and I'm sure I'd be
"I don't want to sound judgemental, but you're already aware that some people in this culture would disapprove of that course of action. And let's
not be hasty," said the doctor. "I'd really like to hear more about
these feelings that have developed for this man, and what caused them."
mean things like that he used his mouth to give me an orgasm? Or that he put
his finger inside me while he sucked my nipples, giving me a whole string of
orgasms? Or that he got me a vibrator and taught me how to use it? Or that,
eventually, I got to see him making love to my mother, giving her what I
wanted him to give me so desperately? It could take hours and hours to
describe in detail what he did to me and how I came to feel about him the way I
do. I'm willing to tell you all this, but I'm not a wealthy woman."
doctor stared back at her. He felt a very unprofessional movement of blood
into his groin and siezed on her reference to the expense of time to try to distract him from the images that flitted through his mind.
considering these Saturday meetings to be one session," he said.
you're only going to charge me for one hour?"
Saturday ... yes," he said.
I suppose we have hours and hours for me to give you all the dirty
little details ... don't we?"
feel this is important. I sense we're making progress."
What kind of progress have you detected?"
already suggested a way to resolve your issues."
mean get my socks fucked off by Uncle Bob?"
Not that I think that's the best resolution, but you're already thinking
in terms of dealing with your emotions for him."
I've wanted him to fuck my socks off ever since then," sighed the patient.
"He just won't. That's the whole problem. I compare every man I go out
with to him, and none of them can compete with him."
this ... crush ... you have on your uncle is troublesome, particularly since it
has lasted so long. Do you have any idea why he is so resistant to your ...
seems to be very much concerned about pregnancy."
are many ways, these days, to inhibit conception," said the doctor.
won't use any of them. Nor will I."
I inquire as to why?"
or me?" she asked.
because he says that's what making love is for, and it's unnatural to try to
prevent it. Me, because if anybody is ever going to get me pregnant, I want it
to be him."
is beginning to sound like more than a simple crush, Jennifer."
don't know what it is. Maybe it's because he got my mother pregnant, and my
little brother is just my favorite little person in the whole world."
suggested taking a break and she suggested going for coffee. It was
unorthodox, but her blatant sexuality was causing feelings in him that were
unorthodox, too. She didn't seem to be concerned that her attire was also
unorthodox, particularly when compared to his open-necked shirt and tan
chinos. They drew a few stares when they entered the coffee shop together and
sat down. Some of that might have been because of the difference in their agesw. His professional eye noticed that most people who looked at them
spent much more time with their eyes on her, than him. Even the women.
left her at the table and gave the barista their orders, waiting until the drinks were
prepared. When he took them back, he saw she was watching him.
wrong?" he asked, as her eyes went up and down his body.
she said, carelessly. "I'm still having trouble understanding why no woman
has bagged you."
because I don't want to be 'bagged'," he said. "That term suggests
objectification, which is a poor basis for a good relationship."
do psychiatrists tend to speak in psycho-babble like that?" she asked,
not psycho-babble," he said. "I merely told you why I avoid women who
see me as a prize, something to be won."
that usually the woman's line?" she asked. He thought she might be
teasing him, but didn't assume that.
is equally damaging to both genders," he said.
I meant was that you're handsome and, from what I've seen during our sessions,
present none of the usual male traits that tend to put a woman off."
he said, grinning. "It's nice to know I'm not driving women away."
"It's puzzling," she replied.
"A puzzle that shall remain unsolved, for now," he said.
not going to tell me, then. Is that it?"
I said before, we're here to talk about your issues."
thought we were here to have a cappuccino." Her tone communicated she was teasing. It was fascinating how she could be so serious in one moment and so frivolous the next. Assuming she wasn't trying to skirt a serious issue by being frivolous.
are," he said, firmly. "And this is a less than desirable setting in which to
discuss the fact that neither of us has found a mate."
course," she said. "I'll just drink my coffee and we can chat about
agree," he said. "We can talk about any number of other things."
she said, softly. The frown was back. "Wouldn't that make this sort of
like a ... date?"
felt his eyebrows go up.
mean, isn't that what you do on dates? Just talk about things?"
what you do in any kind of conversation," he responded. "But
speaking of that, tell me about some of your dates."
here," she said, her eyes darting to each side.
I get us cups to go?"
that would be best," she said.
they walked back to his office, he suggested that if she had other things
planned, they could leave things where they were and pick them up later. She
said she had nothing planned, and wanted to keep working on her
they entered his office she went straight to the couch, but sat on it, rather
than lying down. She sipped at the little hole in the cover of her cup and he
found himself staring at her lips as they seemed to almost caress the lid. He
chose one of the overstuffed leather chairs near the couch.
date should I start with?" she asked.
me a range throughout the years," he said. "I'd like to see what the
progression was like from back then to now."
hasn't really been much of a progression," she said.
hard to believe," he said. "Teenage dating is rarely like adult
for me," she sighed.
me about some dates you had in your later teens," he said.
wasn't allowed to date until I was sixteen," she said. "The first
boy I went out with was Dennis Sturgis. He was a jock, and the only thing he
wanted to do was make out." She sipped her coffee and went on. "I
mean that literally. He took me to a burger place and got the food to go. He
hadn't taken two bites before he was trying to get me to show him my breasts.
As I recall, I believe he said I had 'killer tits.'"
a great first date," said the doctor.
not after being with Uncle Bob," she said.
not fair to compare an inexperienced boy like that with an older man who knows
much more about what a woman needs," said the doctor.
she said, frowning again. "I went out with Dennis because I wanted to go
on a date. You can't go on a date with your uncle. Everybody would have laughed
at me. So Dennis was my only option at the time. But I didn't need Dennis,
or any other boy. What I needed was for Uncle Bob to fuck my socks off,"
she said. "But he wouldn't do that so ... I went on dates, to see if any
other male might make me feel that way, too."
other dates went better," he said.
there was Frank Hisson. He was a nice guy. I went out with him twice. We did
some fun things and he didn't talk about my 'tits' on the first date. But I
didn't feel anything for him. I found myself wishing I was back home, on the
couch with Uncle Bob. That sort of puts a damper on things, you know?"
can imagine," he replied.
basically, all the others were the same thing. The guy might be handsome, or
witty, or fun to be around, but that was always all it was. Lots of them
wanted to get hot and heavy, but they just weren't interesting. Even when I
tried to do something for one of them, I'd be right in the middle of it and find
I was comparing his anatomy to Uncle Bob's."
was trying to be polite," she said. "Let's just say every cock I ever
looked at got compared to Uncle Bob's cock."
he showed it to you," suggested the doctor.
times," she sighed. "I loved his cock."
loved fondling it, and stroking it, and sucking it. One time I got the tip of
it right in the opening of my vagina and I had an orgasm just from that. And
then he pushed me away and ruined it."
wanted more," he said, softly.
many times do I have to tell you I wanted him to fuck my socks off?"
he stop molesting you when you started dating?"
"He didn't molest me. I loved everything he ever did to me," she said,
frowning more deeply than she had in the past.
sorry," he said. "That was judgmental and unhelpful."
sipped her coffee.
used to flash him," she said, blushing. "I'd run around braless and
commando. I wore skirts a lot, just so I could bend over and show him my
pussy." She sipped. "I thought, based on the boys I went out with,
that if I made myself available ... blatantly available ... he'd lose control and give me what I wanted.
I was so stupid. I had no idea he was getting his rocks off in my mother and
didn't need me."
you're being judgmental," said the doctor.
do you say that?"
have no idea what he needed. The mere fact that he did so much with you, for
so long, suggests that he got as much out of it as you did. The fact that he didn't engage in intercourse with you is indicative of very strong feelings for
you. Based on what you told me, he really was trying to protect you from
getting yourself into trouble."
mean pregnant," she said.
of course," said the doctor. "But it's also likely he didn't want you
to fall in love with him."
he was stupid," she said. "I was in love with him by the time I was
comment had been delivered with undisguised heat, and he stayed silent to give
her time to calm down.
a woman of twenty-three, I'm sure you know that your fifteen-year-old self had
no idea what 'love' was," he said.
course," she said. "The problem is that my twenty-three-year-old self
feels exactly the same way, now."
stopped at noon. She said she'd like to go home, get cleaned up and then come
back around two, if he was willing. He had nothing else planned. He still
didn't know what course of action ... treatment ... to take with this young
woman. What she wanted was something society wasn't willing to let her have,
whether her uncle wanted to or not. What she wanted was taboo. He didn't
think of it as unnatural. He'd learned long ago that "natural" was
just how life played out. It might not be acceptable to others ... but it was
course it was more complicated than that. That generalization had issues. One
was when people had the urge to harm others. That urge might be
"natural" but civilization had to mediate it or things could become
uncivilized very quickly. But, again generally speaking, from a psychiatric
point of view, the urges of a human that were not intended to harm
others, were less troublesome, taboo or not.
if the worst thing Jennifer ever did was fall in love with, and have an adult
sexual relationship with her uncle, then the world wasn't the worse for it.
course he didn't tell her that. There might come a time when he would, but he
hoped some way could be found to channel her carnal desires in other
was only mildly conflicted when, after she left, he lay on the couch she'd been
sitting on, and slowly, lovingly, stroked a load out of his swollen balls.
had happened after sessions with other patients, after all.
On their third meeting, the following Saturday, she had apparently conquered her
habit of waiting until she got home to shower after she worked out, because she
arrived promptly at ten, her hair still damp, but dressed in a peasant blouse
and denim skirt. Whereas, on her first visit, her attire had been flawlessly coordinated, the white boat shoes she wore this time didn't seem to blend in, and the footy socks she was wearing, with pink pom poms on them, looked even more odd.
went to the couch as if she'd adopted it as her own and sat, leaning back
negligently. It was the first time he'd seen her adopt anything other than the
perfect posture. His eyes went to her knees. Those knees
were not pressed primly together, but then again, they were only a few inches
I tell you something do you promise you won't be angry with me?" she
asked, without preamble.
may say anything in this sanctuary," he said.
I got home last Saturday, while I was in the shower ... I masturbated."
couldn't keep the image her words conjured from his mind. He felt his nut sack
tighten and blood begin to flow into his prick.
do you think that happened?" he asked.
"Because talking to you about what Uncle Bob used to do to me turned me on," she said.
"So you thought about ... that ... while you did that?"
yeah," she said. Her knees drifted another inch or two apart. She seemed
like an entirely different person. "I thought about you, too. That's the
part you're not supposed to get angry about."
understandable," he said, feeling his cock harden to half-mast.
"Patients often develop feelings for their therapist. It's called
know about transference," she said, "but I don't think that's it. I realize this is only our third session, but I
think I've finally found someone who just might be as interesting as Uncle
"It would be completely inappropriate for us to have a relationship other than
professional," he chided, gently.
"As long as I'm your patient," she said.
"What if I fired you?"
"Then you'd be my former patient, and that would be unethical as well."
"So I can't have my Uncle Bob, and I can't have you. Why does the world insist on
shitting on me?" Her words were harsh, but her voice was not. She showed
no physical indications of frustration or anger. "Please explain to me
why former patients are off limits."
"People would think I took advantage of you during a time of vulnerability, or
manipulated you into the relationship."
"Trust me, Doc. I am not vulnerable, and you haven't manipulated me in any way, shape
or form. I think I could even make a case for that in court, if it came to
"Let's try to stay out of court, what do you say?" he said, gently.
"Instead, let's talk about why you felt the way you felt when you took
"I felt horny," she said.
"What were you thinking about?" he asked.
Her knees drifted even further apart and her fingers went to the hem of her skirt.
"Actually, I was imagining doing this, and wondering how you would react."
Her fingers dragged the hem of the skirt up as her knees moved rapidly apart. What
was exposed was her sex; flushed, pink lips that were parted just enough to
stimulate the imagination of what lay deeper within. Her pubic hair looked short, but
upon closer examination he saw the hair was long, but straight, lying flat on
her un-tanned skin.
really something you shouldn't do," he said. Then he realized he was
staring, and pulled his eyes away.
this," she said, reaching across her body with each hand to grip the
elastic sleeves of the peasant blouse. She tugged and it went downward,
exposing perfect, round breasts capped by nipples the exact same shade of pink
as her pussy lips. He couldn't help but notice those nipples were erect.
licked his lips before he could help himself.
is the sort of thing I used to do to Uncle Bob," she said, leaving her
charms on display.
he resisted," said the doctor, his voice a little quivery.
I was younger then. I didn't have as much up top."
said the doctor, "he must have been a very strong man."
still is," she said, softly. "Hence my extreme sexual frustration.
I'm quite sure I'd never have even thought about doing something like
this, in this setting, if I wasn't so frustrated."
believe you," he said, wondering if she could see the tent in his pants.
He decided not to draw attention to it by touching it. He was glad he was
sitting down. He'd chosen one of the straight-backed chairs, for no particular
reason, but now he hoped his upright posture was concealing his erection.
stood, which helped a little, because her skirt dropped to cover her loins. But she did
nothing to cover her breasts.
must be some way you can think of to resolve this issue," she said,
walking toward him.
confess, I'm a little distracted right now. It would help if you put your
blouse back in order," he said.
wouldn't be any fun," she said in a clearly fake pout. "I like the
way you're looking at me."
about Uncle Bob?"
"Fuck Uncle Bob," she said, closing with him and then spreading her knees to
walk forward and sit on his lap, astride him. Her breasts were now only inches
from his face.
can't do that, Jennifer," he sighed. "It's just not right."
"Well somebody better fuck me," she said. "I'm tired of
thought you wanted the right man," he said, resisting the urge to taste a
just have to do, Doctor. Virginity may not be a disease, but I want to be
punctuated her comment by rubbing her naked pussy right on top of his erection.
Doctor! Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you having a crisis of
you feel is only evidence that I am a man," he sighed.
I am a woman. I'm not a seventeen-year-old girl with stars in my eyes. I know
what I want. I've wanted it ever since I turned eighteen and could make my own decisions. You are my last hope."
ridiculous. You could have any man you wanted."
don't want just any man," she said. "And the way you put that, I
would be objectifying such a man ... claiming my prize. I thought we were past
that kind of talk."
you can't want me," he groaned. "It just isn't the right course of
me," she whispered.
then she kissed him.
twelve minutes had passed, yet for both of them it felt like it must have been
groaned as his naked bulk pressed her deep into the soft cushions of the couch,
where one of her feet was perched on the backrest of the furniture, while her
other heel was firmly on the floor of his office. She'd made not a peep to
indicate his entry had caused her any kind of pain, and she'd had two orgasms
"It's been too long," he gasped. "I can't wait. But I shouldn't," he panted, going in deep. Both knew his comment referenced the fact that his penis was as bare as bare could be inside the pussy she had already told him was both fertile and defenseless.
yes you should!" she gasped. Her feet whipped across his back like lightning. In the process her feet collided and one footy sock was dislodged. It flew across the room to land near the
chair he had abandoned when he lost control.
fuck, Jenn," he gasped as he felt the sweet release of rich, potent semen
rushing through his prick, to be ejected into her nubile belly.
she hissed, feeling the ball of warmth explode next to her cervix.
mother is going to kill me," he panted, as the pulses became a dribble.
she's not," panted the happy woman under him.
only thing she ever asked was that I not get you pregnant," he sighed,
trying to figure out a way to ease his weight on her naked form.
Bob ... whose idea do you think it was that I come to you for therapy?"
way," said the uncle who in a last ditch effort she had decided to make into her psychiatrist, as well.
got her preggers again, Uncle Bob. She said two is enough and she's going to
need some help from now on dealing with your ... desires."
finally decided the only way not to crush her was to get up. He did so and his
eyes went to her swollen sex, weeping his thick spend.
stared up at him, leaving her legs open.
should have done this years ago," she said. "Now you're old and probably weak
and it will most likely be just hours before you can get hard again."
just see about that, little missy," he said. "It turns out you know
how to motivate me after all."
She lifted a foot.
"I hope so. You only fucked one of my socks off so far."
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