The Not-so-super Model
by Lubrican
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Chapter Two
Hannah
did call me, about two minutes after I got home. She knew how
long it would take me, apparently. I'd had ten minutes to think about
things,
which is to say I'd had ten minutes for my mind to run rampant as I
drove down
quiet streets. It was good they were quiet. I really had no business
driving at
that point in time. You know how sometimes you drive from point A to
point B
and when you get there you don't remember anything about the trip? It
was like
that.
"You
don't have to pose for her, Bob," she said.
"I
know," I said.
"She
shouldn't have asked you."
"I
guess," I said.
"Of
course she's right. You are
the only man she could have asked."
"I
guess," I said again.
"But it was ridiculous of her to do that."
For some
reason what I thought of at that moment in time was that Hannah
thought I'd be a poor model. And since all a model has to do is sit
there, that
meant she thought the end product would be ugly. A desire to believe
otherwise
and defend myself caused me to speak before I thought things through
completely. That was the real problem in this situation. I hadn't had
time to
process the whole idea or think about it in any kind of dispassionate
manner.
"Come
on," I said. "I'm not that ugly."
"That's
not what I meant and you know it," she said, her voice
level.
I did?
Who says I did? Well ... Hannah, for one. That was ... something.
Not weird, exactly. But not expected, either. Of course we'd never sat
around
and had a discussion about either one of us in terms of how we looked
aesthetically. Who does that?
"I guess
I don't know what you mean, then," I said. I was tired
and it was hard to think.
"I meant
that of course you'd be uncomfortable being naked in front
of Harper," said Harper's mother.
"I
guess," I said, going back to what was apparently my
standard response that evening.
"You guess?
Don't you know?"
"I don't
think I know anything," I said. "I think she just
caught me by surprise."
"Gee,
you think that might not surprise somebody?"
"Did it
surprise you?"
"That's
different. I'm her mother. She sees me naked all the
time."
Talk
about offering a jug of water to a man dying of thirst. My fantasies
being the man, of course, and her comment being the water.
"I'm
tired," I said. "I'm going to bed."
"Okay,"
she said. "I don't feel like we've finished
discussing this, though."
"Fine.
We'll talk about it tomorrow."
"Okay.
Good. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, Bob. You're not
obligated. You mean too much to us for something like this to poke a
stick in
your spokes."
I
blinked. I hadn't heard that phrase in years and years and years.
"I'm
fine," I said. "I just need sleep."
"Okay.
'Night."
I hung
up and headed for bed. About eight hours of unconsciousness right
now sounded pretty good.
Turns
out sleep probably wasn't what I needed. That's because I don't
think there was all that much of it that was actually unconscious.
I'm
referring to dreams, of course, which don't feel unconscious at all.
I read somewhere that the average dream only takes a few seconds to
play out in
the sleeper's mind. A dream that "lasts" for several hours in the
dreamer's mind might take only the time required to blink one's eyes a
few
times. That would suggest that our brains can "think" at speeds
suitable for space travel, while we're not cluttering them up with
conscious
thoughts.
I had
several dreams that
night and, while they might only have taken a total of ten or fifteen
seconds
of my sleep time, when I woke up I felt like I'd pulled another
all-nighter
cramming for final exams in college. Let's just say I didn't feel
rested.
One of
those dreams was
about me answering the phone and Hannah saying
,
"She
shouldn't have asked you." Then, magically, I was
transported to her living room and we were sitting on the couch.
Hannah stood
up suddenly and said, "Does my butt look fat? I think this outfit makes
my
butt look fat." And I answered, "No, I don't think so. Actually, your
ass is perfectly symmetrical when compared to your waist and luscious
titties." For some reason calling them "luscious titties" didn't
faze either of us and felt completely appropriate in this dream.
Then I
stood up and said,
"But I have a question for you. Does my cock bulge out too much in
these
shorts?" For some reason I was wearing silk boxers in this dream, and
nothing else. She looked at me critically and said, "Well those shorts
certainly show it off." To which I answered, "Well I don't want to advertise
or anything." Hannah walked around me once, looking me up and down
and said, "No, she'll love it. Just make sure you don't take them off.
Nobody gets to see that big boy except me!"
In
another dream I was
standing in a big, airy room with my back to Harper. I was naked and
she kept
saying, "Turn around, Bob. I can't draw you that way!" But I
couldn't turn around because I was masturbating, trying to get my
erection to
be soft.
Then
there was one in which
I was standing in that same bright room and Harper turned the easel
around to
show me what she'd finished. "What do you think?" she asked. The
picture showed me standing regally with my hands on my hips. She'd
drawn me
with a heavily muscled torso and legs. I was gorgeous. Except that my
penis
looked like a peanut lying on a ball of cat fur.
There
was one more that I
remembered vaguely. It involved Harper being the naked one, while I was
fully
clothed. I was lying down on a couch with my leg raised in much the
same pose
as I'd imagined Hannah in - the porn pose - and Harper was frowning,
saying,
"It isn't supposed to be this way!"
I'm sure
a psychologist or shrink would have a field day explaining these
dreams, but all they did was make me frustrated. Obviously this whole
pose-for-Harper-naked thing was bothering me. The problem was that I
didn't
have a clear understanding of why it bothered me. I mean
obviously
nothing would happen, except she'd draw me. I had fantasies about women
all the
time, so that wasn't a big deal. I hadn't had one of those
fantasies
about Harper. I'd looked her over and appreciated her budding
womanhood, but
all that resulted in was thinking about what a heartbreaker she was
turning out
to be. By that I mean there would be one winner and a whole bunch of
guys with
broken hearts, once she was claimed. As for Hannah, I'd had a few
errant
X-rated fantasies about her when Denny was still alive, but not since
he'd
died. I started to have one, once, but in that fantasy she was crying
and that
pretty well put the kibosh on that.
Of
course there had been that erection, the night before, when the whole
subject came up. And my mind hadn't been disciplined enough to manage
things,
but I blamed that on the unexpectedness of the whole thing. That's the
thing
about X-rated fantasies. They can happen at dream speeds, before your
conscious
mind can do anything about them.
As I
think back on it now, I think the whole situation changed on me
without warning. I had, for various reasons, put Hannah and her
daughter in a
box marked "No trespassing". Then Harper popped out of that box like
a demented clown, pulling her mother with her, and I couldn't stop
myself from
thinking about them in ways that, before this, had been off limits.
The
problem is, you can't put the djinn back in the bottle once he's been
released. I know the story says you can, but it's more complicated than
that.
In my case once I started thinking about Harper and Hannah and me and
nakedness ... I couldn't banish those thoughts from my mind completely.
Either
asleep or awake.
And the
next time I went over there, it got even worse.
It took
me almost a week to get up the courage to go back and see them.
That was a long time, relatively speaking, at least based on my past
behavior.
But it wasn't unheard of for me to get busy and "neglect" them for a
while. Hannah left me alone, probably to let me work things out in my
mind.
She knew me well enough to know how my mind worked. And there really was no big rush. Harper still had plenty of time to turn in a portfolio. She was only a junior, for pity's sake.
Neither
of them acted any different, in fact, when I tapped on the door
and then walked in, as I usually did.
"It's
just me," I called out.
"Doing
laundry," I heard Hannah's faint voice come back.
I was
almost bowled over as Harper fairly tackled me. That wasn't unusual,
either.
"Come
with me!" she said, excitedly. "I just have to
show you what I did!"
She
pulled me upstairs to her "studio", which is what she'd
started calling the guest bedroom. There were two easels set up. One of
them
had a partially finished oil painting of a landscape on it. The other
was
covered by a drape. I was used to the clutter of art stuff in the room.
All I
did was sleep there, occasionally, and didn't spend a lot of time in
that room.
"Stand
over there," she said, pointing to a spot about seven or
eight feet from the draped easel. I did and, with a "Ta da!" she
dragged the sheet off of the portrait she'd drawn of her mother.
Harper might have all the time in the world to finish her figure studies, but that didn't mean she wasn't eager to get them done. That was obvious, because this one was almost finished.
That it
was Hannah was not in doubt. It looked almost like a black and
white photograph, so detailed was it, except it was too soft to have
been taken
by a camera, at least without a special effect filter. I stepped closer
but
there were two of me when that happened. One of them was the art
critic,
examining what turned out to be a combination of chalk and pencil that
had been
masterfully applied to thick, pebbled paper to create shadows in
patterns that
produced the illusion of Hannah's form. Up close you could see the
strokes and
places where chalk or graphite had been lifted slowly from the paper
such that
it got lighter and lighter until, at one point, one bump on the pebbled
surface
of the paper was stained and at the next bump wasn't.
I
stepped back again, which was required by the "other" me.
That wasn't the art critic at all. That was the horndog male who wanted
to gaze
lustfully on the stunning rendering of a gorgeous woman who didn't have
a
single stitch of clothing on her voluptuous body.
As I
said, the woman on the paper was obviously Hannah. Her facial
features were unmistakable, and yet there were subtle differences that
made her
look like, perhaps, Hannah's sister. I later found out Hannah had
insisted on
that. This drawing was only supposed to be used for Harper's portfolio,
but it
if ever found its way into the public eye, she didn't want people
recognizing
the model. And to her, the finished product didn't look like "her". I
think this is the same phenomenon that happens when one hears one's
recorded
voice. It doesn't sound like "you" when you hear it, not to you. It
actually sounds exactly like you to everybody else, but not to
you. So
what looked exactly like Hannah Hooker to me looked like someone
different to
her.
I
mention their last name here, because the piece was signed in the lower
right hand corner. A stylized "Hooker" was done calligraphy style.
I'd seen that on other finished pieces and I knew she only signed the
things
she was proud of.
The
irony was that, in this context, it looked (to me) more like the
title of the piece, instead of the artist's signature.
That's
because the pose Hannah had put her mother in was reclining, with
a bolster under her armpit. Her head was supported by her hand, which
was in
turn supported by her elbow on the bed. Her upper knee was bent just
enough to
bring that heel to the calf of her lower leg, which created a bit of
shadow
just below what were obvious wisps of pubic hair. That she'd been lying
on the
bed in the room was obvious, because Harper had included two pictures
hanging
on the wall above the bed in the drawing. Hannah's breasts had been
rendered
full and heavy, with large erect nipples on them. The look on the
model's face
was straight out of the Playboy playbook, communicating that this woman
had no
problem offering herself to the observer.
In other
words, she looked like a high-priced call girl who was
reclining, resting, as she watched her man get dressed to leave her.
Her face
communicated unhappiness that he was leaving, but a relaxed joy at what
he had
just given her.
To put
it crassly, she looked very well-fucked.
I
realized I was standing there with my mouth hanging open, quite
possibly drooling, again. My penis announced it was in dire need of
sexual
attention, having attained a state of erection that was almost painful.
"Well?"
Harper's voice held hope. Before I could
answer Hannah chose that time
to come into the room.
"Harper!
You weren't supposed to show him that!"
She stopped as if frozen by Professor Ice's freeze ray. All that came
out of
her immobile body then was a soft, "Shit."
"Don't
be that way, Mom," said Harper. "You know people
are going to see this."
"Yes,
but not Bob," said Hannah, unfreezing.
"It's
not a photograph, Mother," said Harper, pragmatically.
"It's
close," I sighed. I blinked. I hadn't meant to say it out
loud.
"Great,"
muttered Hannah. "I told you not to show it to him,
Harper!"
"I just
thought if he saw how beautifully yours came out, he might
decide to pose for me himself," complained Harper.
My mind
went into overdrive. My eyes were still staring at Hannah's
portrait, but in my brain her form was replaced by my body, in the same
pose as
hers had been. The fact that she had actually been on the bed I slept
in when I
stayed over, and that she'd obviously been lying there naked - I didn't
believe
for a second that what Harper had drawn had been from her imagination -
didn't
help any. And, since Harper's figure studies obviously meant nothing
could be
covered, that meant my rampant boner was on clear display.
Do not
mistake me, I didn't see myself in that imaginary portrait as
"waiting for my lover" or anything so tasteful(?) as that. It just
looked like a horny old goat to me, slavering while waiting for some
poor woman
to stumble into his bed to be ravished.
I was
saved, quite possibly in a literal sense, by Hannah covering her
portrait back up with the sheet that had been over it, originally.
"Mom,
you are so pitiful," said Harper.
"Oh
yeah? How about you show him you, looking like
that," snapped her mother. She blinked and frowned. "No. That didn't
come out right."
"I
wouldn't mind," said Harper, breezily. "Not if I were
as beautiful as you."
Even I
recognized that as a blatant attempt to ingratiate herself with
her mother, who proved she was just as perceptive when she groaned, "Oh
pu-leeez." It actually helped me get some control over myself.
The
first thing I did was cover my boner with both hands. That seemed a
little obvious, though, so I turned away from both women and went to
examine
the half-finished landscape on the other easel. I made sure I was
facing away
from both women.
"You do
good work, Harper," I said, as casually as I could.
"Thank
you," she said, primly. "So, will you pose for
me?"
"Harper!"
snapped her mother. "We talked about this!"
"I don't
see why he'd object," argued Harper, as if I wasn't
standing four feet away from her. "It's not like we're strangers. And
you
know I can't afford to hire somebody, who, I might point out, would
be a
stranger. Do you want me looking at a strange, naked man?"
"Harper,"
said her mother, also as if I weren't there.
"I've lived with you all your life and even I felt embarrassed
to
be that way in front of you. I won't let you put Bob through something
like
that."
"Well!"
I said, explosively. "I guess I'd better get
going."
"What?"
complained Harper. "Why? You just got here."
I
glanced down and realized there was no way I could get out of there
with my pride intact unless I sidled out of the room facing away from
them.
That would look decidedly odd. I reached to do an adjustment, pushing
my cock
upright. The tip dug uncomfortably into where my belt held my pants up,
but it
looked better.
"Oh, you
know," I said, lamely. "Places to go. People to
meet, things to do."
"I
thought you were staying for supper," said Harper.
"Isn't that why you came over?"
"Harper,
Honey, could I have a private moment with Bob?"
Hannah's voice was calm.
"What?
Why?"
"Please?"
said
her mother sternly.
"Adults
are so ... frustrating!" snapped Harper, but she
stalked to the door and stomped down the stairs toward the living room.
It was
quiet in the room. I was still facing away from her, though I'd
forgotten to make it look like I was "engaged" in examining any other
art in the room.
"I'm
sorry, Bob," said Hannah, softly.
I was
still too rattled to examine her apology. I didn't even know what
it was for.
"She
wasn't supposed to show it to you," Hannah continued.
I forced
myself to say something.
"It's
okay."
"I
probably shouldn't say this, but in a way I'm glad she did,"
said Hannah.
That
got my
attention. I turned
around before I could stop myself.
"Why?"
She
wasn't looking at me. She was blushing, but her eyes were darting
around.
"I
shouldn't have said anything. Forget it."
"Forget
what?" I was confused.
Finally
she brought her eyes to me. To my horror they dropped and fixed
on the lump in my pants. I was busted, plain and simple. I couldn't
help it.
Both hands came to cover my shame again.
"I'm
sorry," said Hannah again. Her cheeks flamed even
brighter.
This
didn't make sense. If anything I was the one who should be sorry.
I'd been unable to view her portrait without having inappropriate
thoughts.
Unwelcome thoughts. I was supposed to be Hannah's friend, not some guy
who
wanted to mount her silky body and bang the living shit out of her. I
had
betrayed her trust.
Maybe
that was what she was sorry for ... the loss of trust between us.
"I
couldn't help it," I rasped. "It just happened. I mean
the drawing was so ... lifelike."
She
looked surprised.
"I'm not
angry, Bob," she said. "I just didn't expect you
to respond that way."
"I know.
I'm supposed to be your friend," I groaned.
"You are
my friend," she said.
"You
know what I mean. I shouldn't have ... reacted."
She
tilted her head, examining me.
"Bob,
for some time, now, I thought you might be in the closet," she
said.
I froze
for a few seconds, trying to make any kind of sense of that.
"What?"
I
gasped.
"I'm sorry!"
she moaned. "It's just that you almost
never ask a woman out. You haven't formed any long-term relationships
with
women since Denny died. I guess I thought you'd been trying to look
normal when
he was still here, and when we lost him you stopped doing that. I
shouldn't
have made assumptions. I just thought ..."
"I am not
gay!" I yipped.
"I can
see that now," she said. "I'm sorry for staring. I
was just relieved that you reacted ... um ... normally?"
"You
stared?" I looked down to see both hands securely covering
my groin. I jerked them away reflexively, only to reveal there was
still a
bulge there. My hands went back but I pulled them up again. I didn't
know what
to do. I turned sideways and suddenly felt foolish.
"Sorry,"
she said, shrugging. "I'm a woman. What can I
say?"
"I think
that's supposed to be my line," I said. I blinked. "I
mean I'm a man. Not that I'm trying to excuse my ... uh ... behavior."
"You
don't need to excuse your behavior," she said,
softly. "I know what that drawing looks like. I don't understand why,
but
my daughter obviously wanted to make me look like a trollop. I know
what most
men would think if they saw it."
"Funny
story," I said, as relief rushed over me and made me
almost giddy. "She signed it."
"What?"
Hannah looked confused.
"She
signed the portrait," I said.
"Okay."
She still didn't get it.
I went
to the easel and pulled the sheet off of it. It was instinctive
because one needed to see the whole thing before I pointed to the name
in the
lower right hand corner.
"Hooker,"
I said.
Her
cheeks had lost their glow, but it came right back.
"Oh my,"
she sighed. "I didn't think of that at all."
"Neither
did she," I said. "But that's good. She's still
innocent enough not to draw the inference."
Hannah
put her hand up and rested it on the edge of the frame on the easel.
"This
does not suggest innocence on the part of the artist,"
said the model, calmly.
"She's a
teenager," I said. "Her bloodstream is chock full
of hormones. I think she drew you as she wanted to see you."
"I don't
want you to think I'm uncomfortable talking about
this," said Hannah, taking the sheet from me and re-covering her
portrait, "but a lot has happened and I'm not quite ready to confront
the
fact that my daughter sees me as a woman who wants ... needs ... to get
laid. I
mean that's what I see when I look at that. Is that what you saw, too?"
That
relief I mentioned, when I realized she wasn't angry with me (and no
longer assumed I was gay), combined with the relative ease of our
conversation
in the last few minutes, gave me the confidence to answer her question
honestly.
"Actually,
it looked more to me like you'd just been laid ...
and happily so."
"I
should be so lucky," said Hannah, adopting a snarky smile.
She held up a hand to keep me from commenting. "Enough of this. Let's
go
get supper on the table. We can talk about this later." She frowned.
"If we need to, I mean. This has all been a bit ... much ... for me,
and I
suspect you feel that way, too."
"What
you said," I quipped.
"I'll
try to keep Harper off your back," said Hannah.
I almost
groaned as unwanted images flitted through my mind of me on my
back, with one of the Hooker women on top of me, followed by both of
the Hooker
women on their backs, with me ... well ... you know.
Yes, the
djinn was definitely out of the bottle.
And he
was swirling all around the Hooker house, making changes in the
world.
Just to
recap, and set the scene for things to come, here's the
assessment of the changes that had taken place in my relationship with
my best
friend's widow and daughter.
The way
things had been was me, hanging around, being helpful
after cruel fate took Denny away from his family. There had already
been a
friendship, and it simply deepened. My relationship with Hannah had
been
platonic. To Harper I was a buddy, confidante
,
and
source of information from a trustworthy male. That had been the status
quo for the last five or so years.
Then,
suddenly, within a week, I had become a man who lusted after
Hannah, who didn't seem to mind that I lusted after her. Not
that there
was any invitation there for anything more than the deeply satisfying
platonic
relationship we had been enjoying, but it was suddenly okay that I got
an
erection for her. Or her portrait, as it were. Not only that, but my
innocent
angel of a "niece" had the capacity to draw her mother in full triple
X mode and wanted to do the same with me! Not that I thought
she'd
assume I'd have a boner while she was drawing me. I hadn't crossed that
line,
yet. But I got the feeling that, were I to accede to her request, and
become
her model, and should an erection ensue, her reaction wouldn't be as
innocent
as I'd always perceived her to be.
Basically,
both women had suddenly become sexual beings in my mind, and
it was obvious I was perverted enough to enjoy that fact.
It was a
rather big change to what I had become both used to and
comfortable with.
Of
course I knew Harper was growing up ... would grow up ... would become
a fully sexual being. I just didn't dwell on that, or picture it in my
mind. In
fact I think I avoided thinking about that. The idea of some
boy on top
of her made my fists clench, so I blocked that kind of thing out.
Now,
however, I couldn't block it out anymore. The way in which she'd
rendered her mother's face made it crystal clear that she was fully
cognizant
of female sexuality. Only the fact she wasn't allowed to date yet gave
me any
confidence that she wasn't ... experienced ... in the ways of love
already.
That
leads us back to Hannah, who didn't need to be innocent. I'd often
thought, over the years, that she was wasting herself. She had a lot to
offer a
man. But I also understood the concept of not being interested in
seeking a new
mate. It wasn't exactly the same for me, but I felt like it was close.
I had
yet to meet a woman who made me feel that if I didn't snare her I'd be
sorry
for the rest of my life. I had even tried a couple of internet dating
sites,
but the results had been ridiculously unsatisfying. Hannah didn't know
about
that. I'd been too embarrassed to mention it. It wasn't that I'd given
up
looking, but the whole process seemed like it was doomed to failure
from the
beginning and it was a lot of work to try when I just didn't expect
anything to
happen. In a way, it's how I feel about fishing. I don't mind going out
and
enjoying the day, being in nature, but I don't actually expect to catch
any
fish. I'm just not good at that like other fishermen are.
The
thing I kept thinking about was how relieved Hannah was that I
wasn't gay. What did that mean? I knew how she felt about
finding a
"replacement" for Denny, but what did that have to do with my dating
life? Why did she care whether I was gay or not? The only
reason I could
think of was that she was interested in me, but that was ludicrous.
We'd seen
each other regularly for years and she hadn't shown a single indication
of
interest in me as anything other than a friend. In fact, to find out
she wasn't
disappointed or offended when I horned out looking at her portrait
pretty much
astonished me.
Things
were a little confused and I didn't want to read things in error.
So basically I just closed the book and did something other than
reading for a
while.
Harper,
of course, wasn't going to give up on trying to get me to pose
for her. She needed a male model, for one thing
,
and I
had to admit I was the logical choice. It was the
naked-with-an-erection thing
that was bothering me. I knew that if I did this, I'd get an
erection.
So, to
keep the peace between mother and daughter, I decided to
negotiate. I did so at supper that night. I probably shouldn't have,
because my
mind was still whirling. But I did. It went like this:
"So, is
there any law that says this male model you need for your
other figure study has to be completely nude?"
"Not
law," said Harper. "If the body is covered by
clothes, though, it's not really a figure study. The point of a figure
study is
to exhibit anatomy and display how well the artist renders that."
"What if
the model was wearing shorts?" I asked.
"You
mean you'll do it if you can wear shorts?"
"Harper!"
warned Hannah.
I was
trying to keep the peace so I raised a hand to stop Hannah.
"I guess
we could try that," I said.
Harper
was happy.
She was
so happy, in fact, that it should have made me wonder about that.
I mean what was the big deal? I was going to sit there wearing shorts
and she
was going to draw me or paint me or whatever. It was just a step
towards
getting her portfolio in order, right?
So why
was she practically overjoyed about my offer?
Except I
didn't think about that then.
Which is
how I ended up on a slippery slope that would change things even
more.
Sort of
like how Mt. Vesuvius changed the landscape 'a little' back in A.D. 79.
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