Shooting in Hannah - Version Alpha
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A couple of days passed before we did any
more work on her portfolio.
She had stuff to do and so
The next thing on the list was called an
editorial fashion shot, which was
supposed to show how you expressed yourself in photos.
was supposed to move around, jump, run or
You see some of that in TV
about clothing for young people. The
models in those ads are smiling as they get all energetic and show off
clothes, like wearing those clothes is the best thing they ever decided to do.
In the case of a portfolio,
however, the idea is to make the viewer look at the model, not what
This was really hard to do because it isn't
natural to pause while you're
smiling and having fun, so somebody can take a quick picture of you
like you didn't pause at all.
In the end
I told her to do whatever she was going to do and ignore me and I'd
Hopefully one of them would
what needed to be done.
There was an old tire swing in the back
yard, and she swung on that.
I happened to get a shot of
her when she
leaned back, basically making her body into a straight line on top of a
Her eyes were closed and her
was flying out.
It was just beautiful. I
still have that photo in a frame in my office today.
remembered an old Hula Hoop in the
garage, and got that out.
riding her bike, but that moved her too fast and the images on the
She danced for a while and I
got another boner.
In the end, we chose one of the tire swing
I got it while she was
I had told her to look at me
each time she
came around and try to make it look like she didn't hate me.
was smiling in the picture and looked
We had no idea if it
was the right kind of shot for that page, but that's what we ended up
You've probably figured out by now that she
actually should have used a
professional photographer, who knew how to do all this stuff and
sets and could do stop-action and all that.
We were both just ignorant
teenagers who thought we could do anything we
I have to say, though, that I
think I took some pretty good pictures.
I'm not saying her portfolio
was worth a crap when it got done, but some
of the shots in it were good.
And other people eventually
agreed with me, too.
But I'm jumping the
gun and need to move on.
Next was a commercial shot, which is the
same concept as the editorial
fashion shot except the idea is to convey some kind of emotion
advertising a product.
If you leaf
through a magazine you'll see basically two looks on the model's face.
is a smile or grin, indicating how
incredibly much fun the person is having while engaged in/using some
The other is a thoughtful look.
too bad in print, but on TV they get ridiculous. I
especially like (hate) the ones where
somebody brushes his teeth and then grins like that's the best thing
happened to him in his whole life. Look
at yourself in the mirror next time you brush.
Trust me, you're not grinning
like an idiot. I bet you don't lick your teeth, either.
I read up on this shot and was relieved
that you didn't have to do a
All that was required was
capturing the kind of expression that might be used in a commercial:
happiness, pain, constipation, hope, distrust and so on.
The problem is that it's pretty hard to
convey something you aren't
actually feeling at the moment.
begs the question, though, since that's the whole point of modeling.
model's talent is projecting what the
client wants you to feel like, instead of what you actually feel like.
I took some pictures of her frowning and
smiling. She tried to look
anguished and thoughtful, but all of those shots looked like just what
were, some kid taking pictures of his sister while she made faces at
Neither of us was happy with
Then I had an idea. I
had no clue as
to how it might turn out, but I thought it might generate some real
her and I hoped that emotion would be visible on her face.
know that's not how this is supposed to
work. I know the idea is for her to show her talent at expressing any
particular emotion on demand, but then again that's something that can
learned, practiced and worked on in the future.
The idea was to get people's
As I said, I didn't know how she'd react to my idea.
I was just hoping she would react.
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked.
"Go ahead," she said. She
looked a little grumpy, but grumpy wasn't what I was looking for.
"When you asked me if I sneaked a shot of
your ... um ... breasts, and
I said I didn't, you had a funny look on your face.
were you thinking about?"
She just looked at me. Her
completely blank. Then she sat down on her bed.
"Let me ask you a question," she said.
"Did you look?"
"At your breasts?"
"No, you incredibly stupid boy, my elbows!"
she snapped. "Of
course I meant my breasts!"
Her face displayed annoyance, but it still
wasn't what I was looking for.
"Yes, I looked," I said.
Her face calmed.
"Did you want to take a picture?"
"Of course I did," I said.
There was something on her
face now that was interesting.
She looked a little afraid,
I figured she was worried about just how perverted I was.
snapped a shot.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm just taking pictures.
Ignore that and just talk to
"You wanted to take a picture of my naked
breasts," she said.
"Sure I did. I didn't get much of a look,
but I could tell they were
"So why didn't you tell me to stop?"
"You mean try to get you to face me, so I
could take a
I didn't have to imagine
the look on my face
at that moment.
It was one of pure shock.
"I don't know," she said.
Her face fell and I snapped a
picture. "I think something's wrong
"Wrong with you?"
"I don't understand why I like it so much
when you look at me like
"Like guys at school look at me ...
undressing me with their
"I thought you'd be mad if I looked at you
like that," I said.
"I should be mad!"
Now her face really did
display anguish, as she looked off to one side.
I took a picture.
"But you're not." I
no idea why I was pushing this.
just trying to get something undeniable on her face.
"No," she said, softly. "Why do you think I
posed for you
like that in Megan's swim suit?"
"I don't know," I said.
"I was a little confused
"I felt like such a slut," she said. I
couldn't identify the emotion showing on
her face, but it was stark and I snapped a picture.
"You're anything but a slut," I said.
"Like you'd know," she said.
She almost sneered, but it
was there and gone too quickly to catch in a
"I know how sluts act, Hannah, and you
don't act that way."
"I did for you," she argued.
"That was different. We were trying to work
up to getting something
it's not like I'm going to
run out and tell all my friends," I said.
"You'd better not," she warned. "Not if you
ever hope to see
That was interesting. I
to ask her what "them" meant. She had just suggested that me seeing
those creamy, dark-nippled mams again could actually happen.
"Are you sure there are no nude shots needed
portfolio?" I asked.
I swear I was just
trying to break the tension.
was showing the tension, but it wasn't anything specific enough for
what I was
It did break the tension. She
Then she got an impish look
I got the picture.
"If I show you mine, you have to show me
yours," she teased.
"Can't," I said, taking more pictures.
"You'd scream bloody
"Why?" she asked. The
on her face was avid interest and I took a picture.
honestly wasn't thinking too hard about
what was being said.
I was looking for
something special on her face and that took the majority of my
Her eyes dropped to my groin. Then
they widened in shock.
I got that
"Oh my gosh!"
she squealed. "Do you have a boner?"
"What?" Again, being honest, I wasn't
actually aware of whether I
had a boner or not.
I dropped my hands
and looked down at the front of my pants.
I saw the normal lump and felt a little tingle there,
but not what she was suggesting. "No. I do not have a boner."
She covered her face with her hands.
"I am such a slut," she moaned.
I went to sit down beside her. I
wanted to put my arm around her, but didn't.
"Look," I said. "I'm just as confused about
this as you are,
"Such a slut," she muttered through her
"Are you saying you wanted me to have a hardon?" I
It was pretty blunt, but
wasn't in my tool bag that day.
The hands came down. She
It would have been a great
shot, but the camera was on the bed beside me.
Then she crumbled. I
saw a tear
form and run down her cheek.
"Talk to me," I said. I
didn't know what else to do.
"You can never tell anybody what I'm about
to say," she said. "Never!"
"When I go out with guys and they get that
way, it's awful. Even
Steve. It just makes my skin crawl, and I feel like something bad could happen and I want
"I can understand that," I offered.
"So why, when I think about that happening
with you, do I feel
"Different how?" I asked.
"Different like it doesn't seem scary.
Different like I get ...
turned on." She frowned. "What's wrong with me, Bobby?"
All I could do was grasp at straws.
I had the same problem she
I'd had a fantasy about her
and me being naked ... in bed ... doing the
things I'd had hazy fantasies about doing with other girls, and the
I'd gotten extremely turned on by Megan's swim suit
displaying my sister's pouting pussy lips
and stiff nipples.
I thought she'd been
teasing me then, having that kind of fun, as opposed to having the same
fun I was having.
"Maybe nothing," I said. "You know I love
you, for real, I
mean, and would never do anything to hurt you.
So you feel safe letting
those feelings come out."
"I don't think so," she sighed.
"I've never wanted to see
Steve's ... dick.
I've never wanted to see any
The inference was clear. She
to see mine.
a mind bender!
"Maybe it's just curiosity," I said.
"Are you curious about me?
About seeing me, I mean?"
"Want me to be honest?"
"Desperately," I said. I
held my breath.
I let it out. She
didn't sound mad
"The reason I don't want you to see me that
way is because if you ever
do, I will have
a boner," I whispered.
"Because of me," she whispered back. It
wasn't a question.
"Yeah," I said. "I've been taking pictures
of you, Hannah. I
know how hot you can look. It ... affects me."
She looked over at me.
"Thank you," she said, softly.
"I'm surprised you said that," I responded.
"I felt so alone," she said. "I don't, now."
"I have an idea," I said.
I got up. I
told her to go stand in
front of the sheet on the wall.
told her to bend over and stand up and just move around.
"Now, keep doing that and think about me,
trying to talk you into
taking your clothes off.
I want to take
pictures of you without your clothes on."
"We can't do that," she said, but something
came over her face
that was really interesting. She looked ... intrigued.
"Come on," I said. "What could it hurt?
you become a famous super model somebody's
going to try to get you to do nude shots. I'm just preparing you for
The look that came over her face was
It was a smile of sorts, but
with a little
furrow of her eyebrows.
"You really want to see me naked," she
said, her voice low.
"Of course I do," I answered. "You're a
Then there it was, the exact look I'd been
hoping for without knowing what
it would be.
That phrase 'You'll know it
when you see it' is true.
The look was
happy/naughty/quirky/a little wicked and just flat beautiful.
I got the picture.
I lowered the camera and found her standing
still, staring at my groin
I looked down and it was
I had a hardon because you could see the length of my cock imprinting
of my pants.
"Sorry," I said.
"Don't be," she whispered. "I'm not."
If this was one of those erotic stories,
this is where we'd have abandoned
all control and ended up fucking like crazy.
Those stories are fiction,
though, and life doesn't work that way. At
least not the life we were in. Instead, she said she was tired and that
could pick things back up later.
I went to my room and masturbated. I
didn't even have to download that picture.
I still had it firmly in my
I found out later she wasn't tired at all.
She just wanted to
Things were pretty cool the next day.
She wanted to get her
"smiling shot" which is like a head shot
except the purpose is to show a smile. Sounds easy, right? People smile
snapshots all the time. But a fake smile looks different than a real one. You can even see that in those family snapshots. Some people look genuinely happy, while others don't, even though they're smiling. You can also see that in competitions, like the Miss America pageant. All those women smile and all those smiles are fake. But some of them look genuine. Those are the women who smile like they want models to smile. This needed to be a picture that reached
grabbed the viewer, made him want to stare at that face and imagine the
smiling like that at him,
instead of the camera.
I never thought about it before I started
taking pictures of my sister, but
I have come to the conclusion that modeling, at least artistic or
modeling, is all about creating the fantasy that the model is doing
she's doing just for you, and you alone.
modeling is a bit different. That's why you see different kinds of
that. Commercial modeling is aimed getting you to put yourself in the
place, and do whatever she's doing. It's
supposed to make you eat what he's eating, or wear the makeup she's
buy the insurance they've bought (or should have bought) and that kind
It's a fundamental difference, but it also
explains why there are so vastly
many more commercial models than there are supermodels.
When was the last time you saw a supermodel
doing a commercial for some
Well ... at least a young one. As
supermodels get older they branch out into things other than trying to
I'm rambling, but that's what I was
thinking about as I tried to figure out
how all this happened.
I think when
Hannah said she wanted to be a model I didn't think about commercial
I thought about the
good looking women in the fashion business.
And when I started taking
pictures of her, I think I kind of viewed her
as a potential model for the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition.
My attitude changed in incremental ways.
Those very first shots I
took, of her in the back yard so she could send
a picture to Steve, made me think of her as a female of the "not bad
looking and definitely worth a little fantasy" variety.
she asked me to do her portfolio was
when she got elevated to the Sports Illustrated level of things. What
things even more radically was ... well ... Playboy Magazine.
The average guy who looks at a Playboy
spread (or one in any nudie
magazine) usually looks at the woman in the pictures and tries to
fundamental question: "Is she my type and would I try to fuck
If there are any ladies in
the audience I am imagining hearing them snort and nudge each other,
something like, "Of course she's his type and of course he'd try to
her. Men are indiscriminate horn dogs."
But that's not true. The
man looks at
every picture ... but his eyes only linger on some
If he's into blondes, he'll look at the women with brown or black
hair, but he searches for the pictures of blondes.
And even then, he wants to find a blonde with
the right breasts, the right waist, the right pussy and the right butt.
even then he
wants to see the
right look on her face.
I've seen dozens
and dozens of pictures of women who had fabulous bodies, but their
portray any indication they were having fun or wanted anything to do
viewer at all.
They're just not
So don't think men aren't discriminating
about this stuff, ladies.
And that's why there is the need for so
many different looking women
in the modeling industry.
Anyway, back to Playboy.
We worked all day long to get a smiling
shot that we both liked.
We tried it with and without
makeup, with her
hair in different arrangements, in the shade, sun, and indoors, against
It was exhausting. Okay,
it wasn't exhausting,
not for me, but it did take all day. And
all those smiles she shot me, whether they were dazzling, cryptic,
merry, happy or whatever, kept me in a kind of a buzz all day.
it being buzzed on horniness.
She was cute, vibrant, fun to
be around ...
So when we finally called a halt we
actually had too many pictures to choose
A lot of them were great
We were both tired, though,
decided to review them the next day.
And I went to my room and pulled out a
Playboy so I could finally jerk
It was while I was looking at the pictures
in that Playboy that the
epiphany struck me, and it struck me like a flash of lightning.
The girl I was looking at was some guy's
It was entirely possible she
had one or more
The law of averages demanded
that at least some of these
nudie models had brothers.
And I started wondering what those fathers,
brothers (uncles, cousins,
grandfathers) might think about if they were looking at these pictures.
Imagine that conversation at the dinner
table on Sunday afternoon.
Brother: "Hey, Sis. I heard you got a job."
Christy: "Yeah, I did."
Father: "A job? You didn't tell us you got
Christy: "It's no big deal, Daddy. I'm just
trying it on for
If I like it I'll keep doing
but if I don't I'll quit."
Father: "That's the problem with young
people these days.
They won't commit to a career
something they can rely on in the future."
Brother: "So where is this job?"
Christy: "It's sort of a modeling job."
Mother: "Modeling? That's wonderful,
Christy! I'm so proud of
Brother: "What kind of modeling?
You trying to get into the
Sports Illustrated Swim Suit
(laughs at his big joke)
we talk about
something else?" (Turns to father) "What's going on at the bank,
Weren't you hoping for a
Now fast forward six months to the
publishing of the Playboy issue in which
Christy's pale, naked body is splayed all over four pages of the
Her pussy is shaved and her
pussy lips are
the kind that look loose ... 'well used'.
Her nipples are stiff and she
has the classic look of the Playboy model
that communicates, "You can have me if you want me, but you can't tell
anybody you're fucking my brains out on a regular basis."
Brother gets his hands on a copy. Dad,
who knows where his son hides the magazines, routinely checks them out
his son is at school.
Basically, both men see the woman they live
with (or at least have Sunday
dinner with) in all her nude glory. She
is obviously a
How do they react to that?
What would the next Sunday Dinner be like?
There are tons of other scenarios in which
this could happen.
The girl could announce that
at Playboy and they're going to do some test shots of her nude.
could all be up front, as far as the
family is concerned.
But any man in her family (and probably her
extended family) who finds out
there are nude shots of her in a magazine is going to get his hands on
magazine, one way or another.
going to look at her.
Of course I'm sure there are some men in
this world who would refuse to
look at such pictures.
It might be for
moral reasons, or because they don't want the fantasy of her purity and
I suspect, though,
that most of "Christy's" relatives who decline to look at that issue
of Playboy do so because they're pretty sure they know what will happen
They'll get an erection. Or
there will be some interest in her, sexually.
That's bad enough, but you
can't look at pictures like that and keep
imagining that "Christy" is still pure and innocent. You know some
prick has put his prick where there shouldn't be
And then you can't help imagining what that
might have looked like.
Christy in the back seat, legs spread for
some pimple-faced boy after prom.
Christy on a study date with a boy, lying
on her back with her legs spread,
thrusting back up at the boy hard enough to make books clatter to the
Christy in some college professor's office,
sitting on his desk with her
legs spread, getting royally shanked by his flesh-knife as she
negotiates for a
Christy dancing in some club and then going
home with some guy who climbs
on and rides her like a cowboy rides a bucking bronco.
Christy trying out for the Playboy modeling
job, which somehow entails some guy fucking her, until her pussy lips look just perfect for the shot.
Of course Christy's life probably isn't like
that at all, but you can't control the
fantastic images that flit through your mind when it's being shocked by
fact that "Little" Christy is quite literally a sexual being.
And I'm pretty sure that a substantial
number of those brothers, fathers,
uncles and so on can't help but imagine climbing between Christy's
willing thighs themselves and
finding out in person what
clasping pussy lips feel like stroking up and down their incestuous
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