Jack and the Beanstalk
by Lubrican
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Chapter Four
Coitus interruptus is never a happy occurrence, especially when it
happens before either participant reaches that achingly close plateau
where wonderful feelings are overcome by TERRIFIC feelings.
That plateau is a really nice place to roll over on afterwards as well,
while you catch your breath.
But Mortimer was too close, and the plateau was yet to be
reached. Jack's enlarged phallus fell away, plopping wetly
out of Harmony's almost-satisfied sex. Its sudden weight gain
almost made it bang on the floor, but it wasn't quite long enough for
that.
"Nooooooo," whined Harmony, and the music took on a frantic chilling
note, before falling into disharmonic jangles that set the teeth on
edge.
Jack worked to stuff his oversized cock back into his pants, while
looking around frantically for someplace to hide. He had no
intention of getting back in the oven. Last time he had been
too close to getting his goose cooked...and the rest of him with
it. Besides, it was too far away, in the other room.
"Jaaaack!" complained Harmony. "I was soooooo close!"
"I'll make it up to you later," he panted. "I
promise! But I won't be ABLE to if that giant catches me!"
The only place he could see that might hide him was a magazine rack
(which was really interesting, being that magazines hadn’t
been invented yet), sitting beside the chair. It was made
like an upside down "V", and held magazines on both sides of
it. There was just enough room for him to squeeze under it,
where he froze, trying to control his breathing. Then he
heard Dinah's VERY loud voice.
"What in the WORLD is going on in here?"
Harmony's discordant music suddenly stopped.
"Didn't I tell you?" came Mortimer's booming voice. "I knew
it was my garp."
"Harmony!" said Dinah sharply. "What's all that noise about?"
"Nothing, mistress," said Harmony meekly. "I was just feeling
peeved. It's so boring around here!"
There came a sniffing sound, like the breeze in the leaves, during a
very windy day.
"FEE FIE FOE FUM!" Mortimer thundered. "I SMELL THE BLOOD OF
AN ENGLISHMAN!"
"Oh please!" snapped Dinah. "Not that again."
"BE HE 'LIVE, OR BE HE DEAD, I'LL GRIND HIS BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD!"
roared the giant.
Dinah's voice altered. She sounded almost thoughtful.
"Mortimer, dear brother, you know you couldn't make bread if your life
depended on it. Now, go on. Take your
nap. You know how walking like that makes you
tired. The garp was just bored. I'll see to it that
she doesn't make those horrible sounds again. Go on
now. Shoo!"
"But I smell an Englishman!" complained Mortimer.
"It's probably just leftovers from that nice lunch we had over at Cloud
Nine. I know they use ground Englishmen in their sauce, and
you got it all over your fingers. You've been rubbing your
nose again. I can see the sauce on your moustache."
Dinah sounded quite serious.
"Oh, all right," pouted the giant. "Will you come and tuck me
in?"
"In a minute," said Dinah. "I need to speak with Harmony
first. Go on. And take your shoes off now, so that
your feet have aired out by the time I come in there. I don't
particularly feel like swooning right now."
Mortimer hadn't been gone more than thirty seconds, when Dinah put her
hands on her hips, looked around the room, and calmly said, "You can
come out now."
"Beg your pardon, mistress," said Harmony. "I'm right here."
"I was talking about Jack," said Dinah.
"Jack? Who's Jack?" asked the garp innocently.
"Jack," drawled Dinah, "is the little problem responsible for that,"
said Dinah, pointing at Harmony's chest.
The garp looked down to see that one of her breasts was still
protruding from the gown she had sought so quickly to rearrange.
"Oops!" trilled the bewitched creature, fumbling at her bodice.
"That and the fact that you've never played music like that since we
bought you," added Dinah, peering around. "Where is
he? Come out, Jack. I know you're there."
Jack peered out from under the magazine rack. He was all
scrunched over, and his head was tilted sideways, so he couldn't see
very well, but he could tell that Mortimer wasn't in the room, so he
edged his way forward until his head popped out. Dinah's
swiveling head stopped as her eyes saw him.
"Uh...hi," he said weakly.
"Come out here, young man!" said Dinah, her voice tight. "We
have much to discuss."
"We do?"
There was nothing for it but to leave his sanctuary. He stood
up with a groan as his complaining back...complained. Then
his discomfort was forgotten as he got his first good look at
Dinah. His eyes rolled in little circles, zeroed in on her
belly, which was pushing out the front of the dress she
wore…and pushing it out a good two feet!
"What's that?" He gaped.
"Surely you little people down there know about how children are made,"
said the woman, a little acid in her voice. "And how it
changes a woman's appearance."
"You're pregnant?!"
"See how smart you are when you try?" There was definitely
acid in her voice now. "Now, little smart man...guess who
made me this way."
END OF PREVIEW
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